Where there is no Vision, the people perish: but he that keepth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18
I've heard the words thrown around and I have said them about my self and to others but I think really understanding what each of them mean and how they apply to you is very important. How is it that we will fulfill what He has asked of us if we don't understand or know the vision?
We are appointed, anointed, carry mandates and mantles. If we don't know what those even are but they just get thrown around I think we get in trouble of loosing sight and soon perish. I've wandered because I haven't fully kept the vision of what he has called me to, appointed me for, anointed me to do, carry the mantle and hold the mandate.
appointed: to choose (someone) to have a particular job : to give (someone) a position or duty: to decide or establish (something) in an official way: to decide (the time or place at which something will happen or be done)
anointed:: to officially or formally choose (someone) to do or to be something
mandate: an official order to do something: the power to act that voters give to their elected leaders
mantle: the position of someone who has responsibility or authority
I think when you can answer those questions about yourself, will help your vision greatly and know what to run after. Not that I have it all answered or figured out but there's something to be said about having vision and how it brings life.
I know I carry a MANTLE of JOY and Life that changes atmospheres and breaks chains off of people.
I am ANOINTED to mend and disciple the hopeless and brokenhearted.
I don't know what my MANDATE is but I'm pressing into Him who will give that to me.
I am APPOINTED to be an evangelist to the Nations.
I am called to be a MESSENGER, one that shares the heart of God, His Holiness, Purity, and LOVE.
I DESIRE to be about His business and bring the Kingdom, living a Kingdom Lifestyle.
God has been speaking to me about the Process into the Promise. Sometimes I don't always know what he has promised me or what the Promised Land will look like. Which makes it harder to know what I am fighting for, but as I spent time with Him he told me to remember the things He has said to me, spoken over me. Remember the Promise. Seek out what those promises are.
So, He is taking me somewhere. A place of fulfillment. A place of PROMISE. But it will not be handed to me on a silver platter. When Joshua was called to lead the Israelites God repeatedly told him 'Be strong and courageous for I am with you wherever you go.' Knowingly there would be battles to claim that Land. But He went into those battles with a victorious heart knowing that God would give them over. Same with Joseph, God had given him Dreams and Promises. The battles and seasons he had to go through seemed devastating, but He HELD onto Gods words and Promises!
Gods Hope is Sure! When HE gives you Hope for a future... its not flighty and not a WHAT IF. HE is not a man that He should LIE. It is True. It is weighty. It is SURE. It WILL COME TO PASS! Doesn't that just lift your heart?! It does mine!
"Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:24
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5
God is so good. I love him so much. He has never failed me, even in the darkest of nights and the highest of Days.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
There is so much more to life than this and I am not about to settle for anything less than what God has. So lets fight for that PROMISE.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Sunday, March 23, 2014
May my Roots go down deep
I wrote this almost a year ago and as I was reading it I felt like it should be shared. Be encouraged!
Its been months since I have even felt like writing... I have been home for 5 months almost 6...trying to figure out what God is doing. Why am I here....? I know the things that God has called me to but for some reason everything seems like he has put me on HAULT! Whenever that happens my instant response is fear that He is denying me. That my hopes of God actually having an amazing adventure for my life would have only been a season... To be honest... the past 9 months have been a battle... and the hard thing for me, was that I couldn't figure out WHAT I was battling... My heart began to get hard... even frustrated with God... even question if God is really who he says he is or was He just telling me something I wanted to hear? Deep down inside I know thats not true... but it was so hard to shake off how real that statement felt. Ive never been more aware of my flaws...Ive been more challenged with what I believe this past year... than I think I ever have.
Around this time last year I was in Israel and it changed my life. We as a group...laughed the whole time! It was incredible. It was so freeing for me. God redeemed so much through that trip. I finally felt like I was able to have friends again like I did before I left for my DTS and lost my closest friends. There was a specific moment where, one of the people in our crew was sharing their testimony with me and God showed me the area of pain that I was holding onto and suddenly I had a revelation that I could FINALLY Let GO! I had prayed and prayed that I would be able to be free from it and no longer be in pain from it. And HE DID IT! I had come back feeling so light and free. I had never felt that before.It was noticeable too... I was happy... genuinely happy inside. I know I have a bubbly personality but I actually felt happiness inside. But Satan wasn't too happy and the battle began. Before I knew it.... that "feeling" wasn't there anymore.
We were well into the school and Lou Engle was going to speak. I was so expectant for God to do something. Whatever it was I wanted to be a part of it. I woke up that morning telling my self...you are going to give God your all... not matter if there is people are around you and you look stupid. Later that day, we had intercession and the hours set for intercession were over but those that wanted to stay could... I was so hungry that day. We started to just travail in the spirit. I had yelled out to God with all I had... even when my thoughts said "shawna...there are people around tone it down...dont go too far..." but when all my spirit wanted to do was to go faster...go harder. But I agreed with what I told myself that morning... and I just went for it... the more I gave up to God... the more I felt I could give... It was so strange, the more I pushed the more energy I had to give back to Him. As I was doing that, I felt like something in my spirit grew. I cant explain it any other way. Afterwards... I just didn't really understand what was going on inside of me. Then I felt God softly speak to me about a tree. A trees roots have to go down deeper and spread out farther than the canopy of the tree, otherwise when the winds blow, and storms come. The tree will just topple over. Somehow that was happening inside of me...
He did so much in me... and maybe the struggle was just testing my faith. How far did my roots really go? These last couple of months at home have been lonely and hard to see God. I was planning to go back to Kona, but it seems like God was almost shouting WAIT! I don't understand why? I don't know why I still have some of those struggles? But I am not God. I want to be like that tree planted by streams of water. To trust God even when I don't understand and the circumstance may seem too hard to get out of. I'm learning that I don't need all the answers but I need to just simply trust God. I don't want to base things on how I feel...or my emotions but to be steadfast and firm because my roots have gone deep in the Spirit and word of God.
"He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8
Its been months since I have even felt like writing... I have been home for 5 months almost 6...trying to figure out what God is doing. Why am I here....? I know the things that God has called me to but for some reason everything seems like he has put me on HAULT! Whenever that happens my instant response is fear that He is denying me. That my hopes of God actually having an amazing adventure for my life would have only been a season... To be honest... the past 9 months have been a battle... and the hard thing for me, was that I couldn't figure out WHAT I was battling... My heart began to get hard... even frustrated with God... even question if God is really who he says he is or was He just telling me something I wanted to hear? Deep down inside I know thats not true... but it was so hard to shake off how real that statement felt. Ive never been more aware of my flaws...Ive been more challenged with what I believe this past year... than I think I ever have.
Around this time last year I was in Israel and it changed my life. We as a group...laughed the whole time! It was incredible. It was so freeing for me. God redeemed so much through that trip. I finally felt like I was able to have friends again like I did before I left for my DTS and lost my closest friends. There was a specific moment where, one of the people in our crew was sharing their testimony with me and God showed me the area of pain that I was holding onto and suddenly I had a revelation that I could FINALLY Let GO! I had prayed and prayed that I would be able to be free from it and no longer be in pain from it. And HE DID IT! I had come back feeling so light and free. I had never felt that before.It was noticeable too... I was happy... genuinely happy inside. I know I have a bubbly personality but I actually felt happiness inside. But Satan wasn't too happy and the battle began. Before I knew it.... that "feeling" wasn't there anymore.
We were well into the school and Lou Engle was going to speak. I was so expectant for God to do something. Whatever it was I wanted to be a part of it. I woke up that morning telling my self...you are going to give God your all... not matter if there is people are around you and you look stupid. Later that day, we had intercession and the hours set for intercession were over but those that wanted to stay could... I was so hungry that day. We started to just travail in the spirit. I had yelled out to God with all I had... even when my thoughts said "shawna...there are people around tone it down...dont go too far..." but when all my spirit wanted to do was to go faster...go harder. But I agreed with what I told myself that morning... and I just went for it... the more I gave up to God... the more I felt I could give... It was so strange, the more I pushed the more energy I had to give back to Him. As I was doing that, I felt like something in my spirit grew. I cant explain it any other way. Afterwards... I just didn't really understand what was going on inside of me. Then I felt God softly speak to me about a tree. A trees roots have to go down deeper and spread out farther than the canopy of the tree, otherwise when the winds blow, and storms come. The tree will just topple over. Somehow that was happening inside of me...
He did so much in me... and maybe the struggle was just testing my faith. How far did my roots really go? These last couple of months at home have been lonely and hard to see God. I was planning to go back to Kona, but it seems like God was almost shouting WAIT! I don't understand why? I don't know why I still have some of those struggles? But I am not God. I want to be like that tree planted by streams of water. To trust God even when I don't understand and the circumstance may seem too hard to get out of. I'm learning that I don't need all the answers but I need to just simply trust God. I don't want to base things on how I feel...or my emotions but to be steadfast and firm because my roots have gone deep in the Spirit and word of God.
"He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The Process into the Promise!
I warn you it is a little long but I pray that you will be so encouraged and challenged!
It has been far too long since I have wrote a blog. Many of you may be wondering where in the World I am! I can assure you that I am still alive, still in Love with Jesus, and still pursuing what he has for me!
I actually was re-reading some of my previous blogs and just remembering where God has taken me and what he has done in me and through me. And hopefully my current posts will be a little more grammar correct! haha ;)
My last Blog I talked about how God had taken me unexpectedly to California and I left it off there. Even more unexpectedly God brought me back to Washington. As hard as that was for me, God has used it for the best and I am so grateful what God has brought out of me being home.
I left California the end of 2012 very confused, feeling very lost, and very unsure. God had been so clear with me the last 7 years of my life and where he wanted me. So clear, and suddenly he was silent. And now I had come home to my Dad being back in the hospital being very ill and we were all very afraid of loosing him. I would visit him in the hospital and watch my dad whom used to be very strong and run hard after the Lord barely be able to feed him self or even talk. My mom would stay with him in the Hospital and I would drive home to stay with my little sister. I would speak in tongues and shout and cry and shout and plead with God to save my dad. I was angry, confused, scared, numb... I couldn't loose my dad. I need him. I love him. He gives me so much Godly biblical advice. And I want him to WALK me down the isle someday. (He almost lost his leg in the process) My heart posture was in a place of holding God accountable. Everything I learned being on the mission field, warring in the spirit, praying to heal the sick and mend the broken was being tested. It wasn't this high that I experienced while with hundreds of other young believers but it was so close to home it made it go down deep and even harder to press in. But oh did I grow. My dad got out of the Hospital and he still has his leg. (Although he still in the process of keeping healthy)
I soon moved back over the mountains with a family that most you reading this will know. I started to working again, which was a really hard transition and broke some pride in me. But of course, I've grown so much through it. I am currently the Front End Manager at a cupcake shop. Which before if I was ever offered such responsibility I would try to sly my way out. I know God has called me, anointed me and has called me to Lead. I've matured. I see things differently. I am not so afraid of carrying such responsibility any more and I know he's using it because of where he is taking me and what he has called me to carry. I have been given some of the best friends I could ask for and Hes truly fulfilling promises and desires! Its been such a process and I know its not fully over but I have a weighty hope that He is taking me somewhere glorious. I can truly tell you he's has done such a work in me. I am different and I am not done.
I have been out of community and ministry for about a year or so now and even though I don't understand. I do know that I am more confident now about no matter what others say, believers or not, that he has given me promises and he will raise me up to who wants me to be and what he has called me to do. Because he said so. When I came back from California, I felt defeated and I honestly hid. I would got to church functions, prayer meetings, youth gatherings. I wouldn't step out. I wouldn't pray. I wouldn't worship freely. I hid. Satan was telling me that I was worth nothing anymore. I lost all my passion. That warring spirit dimmed. I started to think I didn't have what it takes anymore. He's such a liar. The more church functions I went to, the more I hid, and the MORE God called me out. I never got called out and given a word from a prophet or anything like that in YWAM. But it happened constantly when I was at home and the words were always right on. I was HIDING and HE was calling ME OUT! EVEN while I was sitting in parking lot at 11pm and not even a church function! God sent someone I didn't know TO ME and CALLED ME OUT!
When I was in Kansas City/IHOP for Circuit Riders, a song that we had sung was about God chasing us down after He had just chased me down. You see, I thought he stopped chasing me but he CLEARLY hasn't. He wont ever stop. I just stopped looking at his Face. You cant help but be undone before Him when we gaze at his Eyes of Fire. His burning passion. It always brings me to tears... He is just so good. And I am so thankful that He loves me and pursues me and doesn't stop chasing me. There has been so many things I could tell you that seem so little in the mundane where He has romanced me and shown me that He sees me. He hasn't forgotten me. And that he SIMPLY just LOVES lil ol ME!
I don't know what my life will look like in a year, in a few months and it certainly has looked way different than I thought it was going to be. But this is my heart cry right now "We will become people who are undone before you and we will become a people not afraid to give it all. Chase me down, let your love chase me down." Guys when we know we are loved by him and its gone down deep our response is only to give it way and show others how amazing our ABBA is. So this is where I am at. I am in Gig Harbor working at a cupcake shop and I am running after God in a deeper way. I wont stop. I pray that I would be more hungry that no matter whom I am around that He seeps out of me and I cant hold Him in. That's my desire. That He would be known through me. Hes just too good not too!
Please continue to pray for direction and clarity and that I would move and make decisions with wisdom. I only want what HE has for me! Not my will but HIS!
I am a missionary where I am at so please cover me in prayer!
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear feedback!
Love you all!
It has been far too long since I have wrote a blog. Many of you may be wondering where in the World I am! I can assure you that I am still alive, still in Love with Jesus, and still pursuing what he has for me!
I actually was re-reading some of my previous blogs and just remembering where God has taken me and what he has done in me and through me. And hopefully my current posts will be a little more grammar correct! haha ;)
My last Blog I talked about how God had taken me unexpectedly to California and I left it off there. Even more unexpectedly God brought me back to Washington. As hard as that was for me, God has used it for the best and I am so grateful what God has brought out of me being home.
I left California the end of 2012 very confused, feeling very lost, and very unsure. God had been so clear with me the last 7 years of my life and where he wanted me. So clear, and suddenly he was silent. And now I had come home to my Dad being back in the hospital being very ill and we were all very afraid of loosing him. I would visit him in the hospital and watch my dad whom used to be very strong and run hard after the Lord barely be able to feed him self or even talk. My mom would stay with him in the Hospital and I would drive home to stay with my little sister. I would speak in tongues and shout and cry and shout and plead with God to save my dad. I was angry, confused, scared, numb... I couldn't loose my dad. I need him. I love him. He gives me so much Godly biblical advice. And I want him to WALK me down the isle someday. (He almost lost his leg in the process) My heart posture was in a place of holding God accountable. Everything I learned being on the mission field, warring in the spirit, praying to heal the sick and mend the broken was being tested. It wasn't this high that I experienced while with hundreds of other young believers but it was so close to home it made it go down deep and even harder to press in. But oh did I grow. My dad got out of the Hospital and he still has his leg. (Although he still in the process of keeping healthy)
I soon moved back over the mountains with a family that most you reading this will know. I started to working again, which was a really hard transition and broke some pride in me. But of course, I've grown so much through it. I am currently the Front End Manager at a cupcake shop. Which before if I was ever offered such responsibility I would try to sly my way out. I know God has called me, anointed me and has called me to Lead. I've matured. I see things differently. I am not so afraid of carrying such responsibility any more and I know he's using it because of where he is taking me and what he has called me to carry. I have been given some of the best friends I could ask for and Hes truly fulfilling promises and desires! Its been such a process and I know its not fully over but I have a weighty hope that He is taking me somewhere glorious. I can truly tell you he's has done such a work in me. I am different and I am not done.
I have been out of community and ministry for about a year or so now and even though I don't understand. I do know that I am more confident now about no matter what others say, believers or not, that he has given me promises and he will raise me up to who wants me to be and what he has called me to do. Because he said so. When I came back from California, I felt defeated and I honestly hid. I would got to church functions, prayer meetings, youth gatherings. I wouldn't step out. I wouldn't pray. I wouldn't worship freely. I hid. Satan was telling me that I was worth nothing anymore. I lost all my passion. That warring spirit dimmed. I started to think I didn't have what it takes anymore. He's such a liar. The more church functions I went to, the more I hid, and the MORE God called me out. I never got called out and given a word from a prophet or anything like that in YWAM. But it happened constantly when I was at home and the words were always right on. I was HIDING and HE was calling ME OUT! EVEN while I was sitting in parking lot at 11pm and not even a church function! God sent someone I didn't know TO ME and CALLED ME OUT!
When I was in Kansas City/IHOP for Circuit Riders, a song that we had sung was about God chasing us down after He had just chased me down. You see, I thought he stopped chasing me but he CLEARLY hasn't. He wont ever stop. I just stopped looking at his Face. You cant help but be undone before Him when we gaze at his Eyes of Fire. His burning passion. It always brings me to tears... He is just so good. And I am so thankful that He loves me and pursues me and doesn't stop chasing me. There has been so many things I could tell you that seem so little in the mundane where He has romanced me and shown me that He sees me. He hasn't forgotten me. And that he SIMPLY just LOVES lil ol ME!
I don't know what my life will look like in a year, in a few months and it certainly has looked way different than I thought it was going to be. But this is my heart cry right now "We will become people who are undone before you and we will become a people not afraid to give it all. Chase me down, let your love chase me down." Guys when we know we are loved by him and its gone down deep our response is only to give it way and show others how amazing our ABBA is. So this is where I am at. I am in Gig Harbor working at a cupcake shop and I am running after God in a deeper way. I wont stop. I pray that I would be more hungry that no matter whom I am around that He seeps out of me and I cant hold Him in. That's my desire. That He would be known through me. Hes just too good not too!
Please continue to pray for direction and clarity and that I would move and make decisions with wisdom. I only want what HE has for me! Not my will but HIS!
I am a missionary where I am at so please cover me in prayer!
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear feedback!
Love you all!
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