The Year 2009 was one of the most eventful years of my life. I cried much and learned a lot. This year has taken me by surprise and went through things that I never thought I'd go through, but I've learned so much through it all. If your thinking hmmm... "I wonder if she meant to write 2012," nope I most definitely meant to write 2009. It was the year that radically changed the course of my life. I am so thankful for where it brought me but would never choose to do it all over again! I write this in hopes to encourage anyone and also to help me process what the heck I went through! Giving God the glory that he He uses everything for His good.
I am going to start with the last week of 2008 because that is what led me into the year of events! So the last week in December I was waiting to receive my visa to finally leave for Australia to do my DTS. I was so nervous because I had hardly any money to go but decided to take a jump of faith! I currently was living in Tacoma, Washington, so I decided to move all of my belongings back to my parents and then fly out, but I had to wait until after Christmas to do that. I went home for Christmas and would then would go back to Tacoma to celebrate my birthday but a couple of days after Christmas, December 29th to be exact, my mom had taken me to get a haircut and got a call from my brother saying the house was on FIRE! At first I thought he was joking but then it all sunk in that THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING! Our house was ON FIRE! My mom and I rushed home to find out that our whole street was blocked off while the firefighters were putting out the fire. I thought to myself, " well maybe its only one room that was ruined and we will be able to stay in our house," but I thought wrong! By the time we actually got to go inside our house to see the damage it was almost dark outside. Our house was completely black and nothing looked like it had when we left. I was devastated. This was the house I grew up in. Everything always stayed the same. It was the place I knew would always feel secure, so many memories, and it was ALL GONE! I felt like my foundation was ripped out from under me and there was no where I could hide! This was only the beginning!
This day was also 2 of my uncles' birthday and by the end of all this, no one really wanted to celebrate. The only place we could go was to my grandmas and we were all in a state of shock. I couldn't even cry at the moment. I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I had to be "strong" for my family. I had all these questions running through my head, " well what are we going to do now? How can I leave my family to go to Australia and leave them to deal with all this?! They don't have a home!?" Thank God we had insurance and they booked us a motel that night! It felt so strange but that night we realized how much our materials fade away and are worthless and were thankful that none of us were hurt.
I still decided to go back to Tacoma and celebrate my 21st birthday. Which was nice to still be able to have fun despite all that had just happened. It was the best birthday I have ever had. After my birthday a "close friend" of mine helped me move my stuff home and thankfully I had an uncle who was willing to let me store my stuff at his place, while we didn't have a home. I stayed a night with my parents and was planning to go back to Tacoma to see if I would receive my visa, but the next day the pass was closed! I was getting a little stressed out because I was afraid of not even getting back to Tacoma if I did receive my visa. In the mean time I asked my grandma if I could use her credit card to buy my plane ticket and I would pay her back later. Which would have worked but then I got an email from the YWAM base advising me not to buy my ticket until I got my visa and encouraged me that I could always attend the July school. My heart sunk! Ive been planning this for so long and once again its pushed back! Once again I was so devastated!
During all of this my sister had her first child and I was FINALLY an AUNT! ( I had longed for the day I could be an aunt) But the doctors were determined there was something wrong with him, so they had kept him in ICU for a couple of weeks. I was planning on leaving the next day but then the vehicle we were borrowing decided not to start! SO once again we were stuck! All of this uncertainty was killing me!!!
Since we were stuck we went to grab something to eat and as we got home my dog decided to jump off of the seat to the ground and immediately started screeching in pain! I was so scared that he broke his leg and this was just another thing being added to my chaos! He didn't walk on it for a couple of days, but we prayed and he started putting weight on it! Praise God!
The last night I was with my parents, I was laying on my bed in the motel. So many things were happening and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it! One thing I didn't mention was that this close friend and I had been dating on and off in the past year and I knew God wanted this to be a time to fully focus on HIM, but everything in me wanted this guy to be a part of my life. With all of this going on in my mind, I literally felt like I was going to IMPLODE! I couldn't even cry, every muscle in my body was hard as a rock.
We finally got to leave the next day and I had a small amount of hope left that my visa would show up before the 9th of January. I would buy my plane ticket and head for Australia! I waited and waited for my visa and it finally came! It came January 15th, the day the school started! Now I knew I had to be put into the July school. But now what do I do in the mean time for 6 months!?! I quit my JOB, I quit SCHOOL.!?!?! Things were broken off with this friend! Nothing was going right! I felt all hope was gone! I had no strength left. None. I mean absolutely none! ALL I wanted to do was cry all day long! I didn't want to be alive! Everything I had my security in was GONE! I felt like God was angry with me and there was no hope for me! I knew better but this is how I felt!
God told me to move back with my parents, which was so difficult because that meant living in a motel room for 6 months! No friends, no church. Although my plans were to go to Australia, it felt like it would never happen. A dream that will go away when I wake up. I decided I need to keep reading the word, study it while I was home with no agenda. Finally February came along, which meant the ONETHING conference with International House of Prayer and I can go and get some refreshment. So I went to the conference in Tacoma. I went and it was all about the End times! Ya see, I have always struggled with Jesus coming back because I wanted to live LIFE, get married , have fun exploring the world, and being adventurous. I wasn't ready for him to come back. So this was not refreshing but rubbed me the wrong way and all that was in me!
I went home feeling angry, thinking if I put it all behind me ignore what people were saying, I won't feel this way anymore. But God had a different plan. That night he gave me a dream that is so engrained in me now. In this dream, I was in an open cafeteria type place with all my friends. Everyone was busy doing there own thing. All of a sudden I heard a sound! I looked up immediately I thought Jesus was coming back... I looked around and no one payed any attention. So I went back to doing what I was doing. I heard it again... and this time I KNEW Jesus was coming back. I looked around again and so did everyone else. All of a sudden we were all bowed down on a hill and in the distance were other hills. Then the Lion Tribe of Judah came up out of them with angels and elders all on His right and left. All we could say was "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty," over and over again. As I looked at him.... tears filled my eyes... there is NO ONE LIKE HIM! The Fear of the Lord struck me as I was in awe of HIS BEAUTY! I was so terrified because I knew I wasn't ready for him to be back. This was all a reality to me now! Then he left somewhere else on the earth with the people to my right. As I stood up, I realized that the people in front of me were not saved. All I longed for was to be where he was. Why wasn't I?!
After 4 months of living in a motel, we finally got to move into your brand new home. And I finally got to fly out to Australia..... To be CONTINUED!
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