The Best and Worst Year of My Life :2009

The Year 2009 was one of the most eventful years of my life. I cried much and learned a lot. This year has taken me by surprise and went through things that I never thought I'd go through, but I've learned so much through it all. If your thinking hmmm... "I wonder if she meant to write 2012," nope I most definitely meant to write 2009. It was the year that radically changed the course of my life. I am so thankful for where it brought me but would never choose to do it all over again! I write this in hopes to encourage anyone and also to help me process what the heck I went through! Giving God the glory that he He uses everything for His good.
  
I am going to start with the last week of 2008 because that is what led me into the year of events! So the last week in December I was waiting to receive  my visa to finally leave for Australia to do my DTS. I was so nervous because I had hardly any money to go but decided to take a jump of faith! I currently was living in Tacoma, Washington, so I decided to move all of my belongings back to my parents and then fly out, but I had to wait until after Christmas to do that. I went home for Christmas and would then would go back to Tacoma to celebrate my birthday but a couple of days after Christmas, December 29th to be exact, my mom had taken me to get a haircut and got a call from my brother saying the house was on FIRE! At first I thought he was joking but then it all sunk in that THIS WAS REALLY HAPPENING! Our house was ON FIRE! My  mom and I rushed home to find out that our whole street was blocked off while the firefighters were putting out the fire. I thought to myself, " well maybe its only one room that was ruined and we will be able to stay in our house," but I thought wrong! By the time we actually got to go inside our house to see the damage  it was almost dark outside. Our house was completely black and nothing looked like it had when we left. I was devastated. This was the house I grew up in. Everything always stayed the same. It was the place I knew would always feel secure, so many memories, and it was ALL GONE! I felt like my foundation was ripped out from under me and there was no where I could hide! This was only the beginning!

This day was also 2 of my uncles' birthday and by the end of all this, no one really wanted to celebrate. The only place we could go was to my grandmas and we were all in a state of shock. I couldn't even cry at the moment. I couldn't let anyone see me cry. I had to be  "strong" for my family.  I had all these questions running through my head, " well what are we going to do now? How can I leave my family to go to Australia and leave them to deal with all this?! They don't have a home!?" Thank God we had insurance and they booked us a motel that night! It felt so strange but that night we realized how much our materials fade away and are worthless and were thankful that none of us were hurt.

I still decided to go back to Tacoma and celebrate my 21st birthday. Which was nice to still be able to have fun despite all that had just happened. It was the best birthday I have ever had. After my birthday a "close friend" of mine helped me move my stuff home and thankfully I had an uncle who was willing to let me store my stuff at his place, while we didn't have a home. I stayed a night with my parents and was planning to go back to Tacoma to see if I would receive my visa, but the next day the pass was closed! I was getting a little stressed out because I was afraid of not even getting back to Tacoma if I did receive my visa. In the mean time I asked my grandma if I could use her credit card to buy my plane ticket and I would pay her back later. Which would have worked but then I got an email from the YWAM base advising me not to buy my ticket until I got my visa and encouraged me that I could always attend the July school. My heart sunk! Ive been planning this for so long and once again its pushed back! Once again I was so devastated!

During all of this my sister had her first child and I was FINALLY an AUNT! ( I had longed for the day I could be an aunt) But the doctors were determined there was something wrong with him, so they had kept him in ICU for a couple of weeks. I was planning on leaving the next day but then the vehicle we were borrowing decided not to start! SO once again we were stuck! All of this uncertainty was killing me!!!

Since we were stuck we went to grab something to eat and as we got home my dog decided to jump off of the seat to the ground and immediately started screeching in pain! I was so scared that he broke his leg and this was just another thing being added to my chaos!  He didn't walk on it for a couple of days, but we prayed and he started putting weight on it! Praise God!

The last night I was with my parents, I was laying on my bed in the motel. So many things were happening and there was absolutely NOTHING I could do about it! One thing I didn't mention was that this close friend and I had been dating on and off in the past year and I knew God wanted this to be a time to fully focus on HIM, but everything in me wanted this guy to be a part of my life. With all of this going on in my mind, I literally  felt like I was going to IMPLODE!  I couldn't even cry, every muscle in my body was hard as a rock.

We finally got to leave the next day and I had a small amount of hope left that my visa would show up before the 9th of January. I would buy my plane ticket and head for Australia! I waited and waited for my visa and it finally came! It came January 15th, the day the school started! Now I knew I had to be put into the July school. But now what do I do in the mean time for 6 months!?! I quit my JOB, I quit SCHOOL.!?!?! Things were broken off with this friend! Nothing was going right! I felt all hope was gone! I had no strength left. None.  I mean absolutely none! ALL I wanted to do was cry all day long! I didn't want to be alive! Everything I had my security in was GONE! I felt like God was angry with me and there was no hope for me! I knew better but this is how I felt!

God told me to move back with my parents, which was so difficult because that meant living in a motel room for 6 months! No friends, no church. Although my plans were to go to Australia, it felt like it would never happen. A dream that will go away when I wake up. I decided I need to keep reading the word, study it while I was home with no agenda. Finally February came along, which meant the ONETHING conference with International House of Prayer and I can go and get some refreshment. So I went to the conference in Tacoma. I went and it was all about the End times! Ya see, I have always struggled with Jesus coming back because I wanted to live LIFE, get married , have fun exploring the world, and being adventurous. I wasn't ready for him to come back. So this was not refreshing but rubbed me the wrong way and all that was in me!

I went home feeling angry, thinking if I put it all behind me ignore what people were saying, I won't feel this way anymore. But God had a different plan. That night he gave me a dream that is so engrained in me now.  In this dream, I was in an open cafeteria type place with all my friends. Everyone was busy doing there own thing. All of a sudden I heard a sound! I looked up immediately I thought Jesus was coming back... I looked around and no one payed any attention.  So I went back to doing what I was doing. I heard it again... and this time I KNEW Jesus was coming back. I looked around again and so did everyone else. All of a sudden we were all bowed down on a hill and in the distance were other hills. Then the Lion Tribe of Judah came up out of them with angels and elders all on His right and left. All we could say was "Holy Holy Holy is the Lord God Almighty," over and over again. As I looked at him.... tears filled my eyes... there is NO ONE LIKE HIM! The Fear of the Lord struck me as I was in awe of HIS BEAUTY! I was so terrified because I knew I wasn't ready for him to be back. This was all a reality to me now!  Then he left somewhere else on the earth with the people to my right. As I stood up, I realized that the people in front of me were not saved. All I longed for was to be where he was. Why wasn't I?!

I was so sorry because of my sinfulness. He was so Holy and Awesome, this feeling of him right there, I can't even put into words. I woke up knowing I had to be okay with him returning and really giving him EVERYTHING! I wanted to be where HE WAS! The rest of the time at home I studied the bible trying to know God and gain understanding.

After 4 months of living in a motel, we finally got to move into your brand new home. And I finally got to fly out to Australia..... To be CONTINUED!

Life

The last 3 months or so I have been resting and waiting for what God had for me next. While at home I helped a few times with a Christian after school club called Good News. They see kids accept Jesus every week. I also started hanging out with a friend of mine that I met just before leaving for Kona. So thankful that God placed her in my life. One day we were hanging out and decided to go to Taco Bell for lunch. As we sat there... we talked about Jesus and how much our little town needs him. We looked outside and saw a guy working by holding up an advertisment sign. It was freezing outside. So we decided to go buy Him a coffee and ask God what HE wanted to share with this guy. So as we walked to get coffee we asked God... and I simply heard  "I(God) still love you no matter what your going through." So we walked up to him... he didnt hear us coming right away since he had earphones in... I handed him the coffee and he seemed quite surprised and he smiled. He looked like someone that was caught up in a bad lifestyle. As  I told him what I felt God say... his reacation is something that Ill never forget. As soon as the words came out of my mouth... it was like as if someone just periced his gut and took his breath away. We asked him if we could pray for him but he said no and thanked us for the coffee. So we walked away and prayed in the car. God did something in him that I may never know... I love to see God move like that and it always brings life to me.


So, My next plan is to go back to Kona end of April early May and serve on campus. God has called me to be in ministry, so I believe this is a lifelong deal. Please keep me in your prayers, that I will know what is on God's heart and be quick to obey. I am also looking for monthly financial partners as well as prayer partners.  Thank you all that have supported me... it means more than you know.

Concluding Fiji

I know its been far too long since I have written any sort of update. I am currently at home resting and spending time with my family.

As for Fiji... after we finished up our time in villages of Rakiraki, we headed back to our base in Lautoka. We rested and got ourselves together prepping for the last stretch of outreach. We also celebrated Thanksgiving dinner a bit early and as best as we could since Fiji doesn't have all of the ingredients needed for an all American Holiday.  After our few days of rest, we hopped on a bus early in the morning to catch a boat that would take us to a village in an outer island for 10 days. We knew that this Island was going to be gorgeous... but when we arrived... I thought I was dreaming... IT. WAS. ABSOLUTELY. STUNNING. One of the most beautiful places Ive seen. This island looked nothing like the main island we had been living on. This village seemed much different than all of the others that we had experienced. We had been doing door to door ministry everyday in the previous locations but we wanted to try something different. The island culture is thick with family relationships and honor. So we tried to just build relationships with people. We wanted to live like they did. We wanted to help them with whatever they needed during the day. So some of us help cook meals, work on a boat, played sports with the kids, paint the school bathrooms, performed skits for the kids in school and of course had church services nightly...these people are so amazing. Village after village I couldn't get over the fact how much they live Kingdom principals. They serve and serve others... they give the best of whatever they have... they take you under their wing no matter what. They honor and honor... I learned so much. 

A few stories
One day I was just sitting on the beach thinking about what I wanted to share in the nights service and a somewhat older woman that had a young girl with her came and sat next to me. We had some small talk and she then asked me if I was christian... I kinda laughed inside because that is very reason why I was there. I said yes and explained to her what I was doing there. We then started talking about God and I told her that I could hear Gods voice and that is why I came to Fiji. She responded with " I want to hear Gods voice." My heart melted. That is one of the things that so burns on my heart is that people would know they could have a living and active relationship with God... and how can you have a relationship with someone if you aren't able to talk or communicate? I told her that we all can hear Gods voice... we are all just getting familiar to his sound and his ways... I prayed that she may hear his voice clearly. She thanked me and went on her way.

I made friends with a girl named Pepe, she was about 17 years old. I really wanted to go to her house and meet her family. So one day she took me but before we ended up at her house a group of ladies had me just sit down and asked me to share a story about God. Its often that your put on the spot like that... so I decided to share my testimony of how God placed me in YWAM and how I started staffing with Awaken. It was all God orchestrated. Every time I get a chance to tell that story I feel my heart become undone by God again... because HE did it all... HE gave me my hearts desire when I didn't deserve it at all. He was faithful to me. He provided for me. He gave me HOPE. I knew that these girls had dreams... and probably feel at times that they will never happen because they are poor... thats exactly how I felt. But if God did it for me, he would do that for anyone. In Psalms 37:4 Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart. He did that for me, I sought the Lord, I aligned myself  with Him and He gave me the desires of my heart. After sharing this with the girls they seemed encouraged and very thankful for what I shared. Praise God. He used me!

Our last night they threw us a huge Fijian Bon fire...and a traditional juice farewell party... they would normally use Kava/Grog for the party we didn't drink that nor did the Christians in village. The next day we left back to our base to get ready  for Suva our last week of ministry. When arriving to Suva we didn't have much ministry set up except to follow where the Lord led. When arrived we got hooked up to be a part of a youth conference called Synergy. We actually met one of the speakers on the bus going to Suva. Another story orchestrated by God! When we weren't attending the conference we walked around to talk to people. A few of the people on our team got to share their testimonies over one of the largest non christian radio stations in Fiji!

The last week we spent in Fiji was debriefing as a team.

Thank you all for your prayers and support. We got to meet and impact so many people. My team and I  were impacted and changed as well.

To watch our team video follow these links
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dwqoKA-26Wc    part 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGfSBNrrR7Y&feature=related  part 2

Update in Fiji

We have been in Fiji for 2 months now. We have 2 weeks left and then we are back in Hawaii.

So we went to a place called Rakiraki and went to 3 different villages. Every village was a bit different but the ministry looked pretty much the same.  Lots of door to door ... going house to house telling families and people in their homes testimonies of what God has done in our lives, sharing the gospel, and praying for them. In the evenings we have church services, where we would bring a message, worship, perform some skits, and pray for people afterwards. Even though most of the time the services were in Fijian, God was moving.  The main stronghold we have come up against here in this nation is religion and tradition. Its hard to breakthrough that. Honor and respect is at the core of Fijians culture, but through that its hard to breakthrough and fully allow the spirit to lead. Through it all we have seeen God move through us!

1st village in RA: Navatoka

This village was so remote it took almost the whole day to get there. It was surrounded my mountains and placed right next to the ocean.  These people have a reputation of being the most rebellious and the founder of a cult used to live there. His house is still placed up on a hill, where they hold it in high respect. This man used to sit on a throne while they had gatherings and would wear a crown of thorns upon his head. There is also a Methodist church in this village but there is much confusion because this cult leader based a lot of his teachings from the Bible.  We had church services here in this village every night as well, which is where we saw much of the breakthrough. Methodist churches don't allow playing guitars and church congregations do not gather together. We saw all of this happen that week. All the churches around gathered together and guitars were playing in worship. The youth even performed a drama our last day about different christian groups gathering together including YWAM all because of the Name of JESUS! VICTORY!

2nd Village: Mataso


I  connected with a few girls in this place. I taught them the song I sing a lot 'Ive got a river of Life flowing out of me!' We sang it together at one of the services as well as a Fijian song that they taught me! I had it recorded so hopefully I can share that later! We did door to door here as well and built relationships.  We saw many people hunger after Jesus and encountered Him when we prayed for them at the nightly services. Much of our ministry was just by living with the people. These people care much more about your actions than what people are saying. They use a lot of body language! Facial expressions are a must here! :)

3rd Village: Naywala 


The church in this village was very small, about 30 people regularly attend.  Our first night in this church, there were about 5 people sitting on the floor with a caroscene lantern lit while 2 men were worshiping with there guitars. All I could think about was a quote from a book about the Azuza Street and Welsh revivals that talked about how most revivals start by only a few faithful people that press into prayer and Gods heart. I also felt like as that church... those few faithful people running after the depths of Gods heart were entertaining angels and revival kept burning on my heart for them. I shared the next night and I believe that God allowed me to spark a small fire inside of them to run after the more. To expect greater things from God even in their small numbers. To expect that God can use them to change the surrounding villages to run after Gods heart with a firey passion.

To be continued....!!!

Fiji

We have been here in Fiji for about a month now! The first week we stayed in Lautoka for a week with Marine reach. We began minsitry the very next day that we arrived by attending a local church and sharing some testimonies of what God has done in our lives.  Most of the ministry that we have done is going door to door, house to house, simply sharing about Jesus and praying for people.  The people are so welcoming here its incredible. I see the Kingdom in them. They will freely open their door to anyone and would gladly offer them food or tea. Anyone that you may walk or drive by will excitedly say "BULA!" Which is a greeting here that literally means Life! Although people are so friendly, the spiritual warfare over this nation is thick. There are many hindus and some muslims as well. The spirit of religion is very evident as well. Most fijians are born into christianity and its become more of a cultural norm to just go to church instead of truly knowing God.  Most  have heard the gospel story but I believe that we have come to encourage the people here and continue to sewing seed. There was one woman in particular that didnt want to change her hindu ways because of culture but agreed to praying to Jesus when she is alone in her bed! That is victory and because of that step God is going to reveal himself because he WANTS THAT WOMANs heart!! I am looking forward to the day that so many people in this nation start flooding to Jesus, I see it like the dam is about to break and the floodgates are about to open.

We are about to leave for a few more villages for 3 weeks. Its a remote part of fiji and we will be staying in a traditional type village. Most likely sleeping on floors with our mosquito nets. We will be working a with a pastor out there that will guide us from village to village. So another update will be after the 3 weeks. If you have questions email and I will gladly try to get back to you! Thanks for your prayers! God we want more! We want the fullness of what He has for us here.

Here we go

I leave in 4 days, leading a team of 7 along with my co-leader to Fiji for the next 3 months. We are going to be working with a Ministry called Marine Reach, which we will be able to work with some prison ministry, deaf communities, going into villages, and practical work for any that need it. Our heart really is to show people the love of Jesus. So many of youth live a life with no purpose. I know I mentioned a little bit of this in my previous post. This is so much more than just a humanitarian missions trip. There is so much power in Jesus. The gospel is real and we want to proclaim that. God brought me up out of hopeless and I want to see others come into that same freedom! I have more joy and life in my heart than I ever have before! Its so hard to put into words! My vision is Jesus! I want to  see the students on my team more in love and transformed by the love of Jesus than anything else and as we fall more in love with Him we will be able to love other people with the same Love that God has loved us. ITS CHANGES US! He satisfies! Without God we have nothing! He is the one! He is the sunstainer of Life, he is the giver of life! We want people to come back into relationship with Him! Thats what is all about. Its not about the rules, its not about having "good morals", God wants to restore our relationship with him because HE loves us that much! So we are going on this trip to share just that. I still need $1200 to cover my food, housing, and transportation while I am there for the next 3 months. For those of you that may not know, Fiji is a 3rd world country and many are in need of hope and the love of  Jesus,its  not just a vacation spot. Even in the midst of wealth there are people that need to know that they are loved and wanted. People that are lonely and poor in spirit. God came so he could purify, restore, and love those exact people. He did it for me and I want to show others the same. So if you would like to partner with me and my team by supporting me financially and in prayer there is a paypal button to the right where you can give. Thank you so much.  If you are feeling like you are one of those that need healing, hope and life. Please contact me. I would love to pray for you and encourage you and tell you about the love and power of God.

A Life with Substance

Outreach time is almost upon us! I am leading an outreach to to Fiji come September. I am getting so excited! We have talked to a few Fijians that are here on our campus and got to learn a bit more about the people. Many people have no hope and live their lives drinking Kava ( a root drink that can make you numb and physically lock your knees). My heart breaks for those that feel as though they have no purpose or life in their hearts! I used to be that way until Jesus came in and showed me who HE was and gave my life and hope in him. We as a team desire to bring that to the people in Fiji. We as well want to go and serve the people in any way that we can, whether that look like cooking a meal for a family or fixing up someones home. I believe that God is going to encounter people with His love, heal them physically, and make them whole emotionally. Weill see the power of God manifested! We are going to see people that are heavy in heart and bound up, be set free! 

My life has substance. What I long to see and what God desires to accomplish on this earth will happen not out of just an excitement and zeal but out of a reality of the goodness of God and the power He longs to pour on the broken people of this earth! I need about $2000 to be able to go out and do this. Please pray about partnering with me. There is a paypal button to the right. You can click that and make a one time donation or sign up to support me monthly. Keep us in your prayers. Prayer will break the power of darkness and bring hope where there is none. Pray for freedom and a passion after Gods heart. If you have questions please feel free to contact me. I pray that God will draw near to you today and build you up in him, so that you may have all life and freedom in HIM!