For the past 10 ish years, I have sought God about where I am supposed to be and what I am supposed to do with my life. He never outright gave me blueprints but slowly gave me pieces of a puzzle all along the way. And I believe that Hes put more structure to that puzzle in the last couple days than I have seen before. I'm expectant and so thankful for a much clearer vision. I share this to hopefully encourage you as well as for anyone that would like to join me in this journey.
Ill rewind a little bit.
While I sat on a bus in Tacoma, WA going to work at Starbucks in 2008, I was staring out the window, then God interrupted me and said "You are going to have a Career that is going to allow you to travel and this is the beginning of what your going to do for the rest of your life." This started my journey which led me to many years of being with Youth With A Mission and being able to travel to many nations.
While I was in Australia in 2009 doing my discipleship training school, there was a moment where us students all laid on the floor and just allowed God to speak to us. (Mind you God had previously spoken to me about having my own ministry not knowing what that would like at all. But I trusted that God would bring it about.) He suddenly spoke to me without me asking or even thinking about it and gave me the Title/Name for my ministry. Which was Simply "Life Restored."
After that year where God radically changed my life, He CLEARLY spoke to me and told me to go to Kona, Hawaii and eventually staff at the YWAM base there in 2010. This year was like the gold at the end of the rainbow. One of the most joyous freeing years of my life. During this time I felt like God cultivated in me a desire to be in community and to forever live that way. Seeing how its crucial to building each other up and living life to the fullest. He increased my desire to free people from heartache and pain. So many things that God had set me free from.
2011 Lou Engle came to the YWAM base while I was staffing. Thursday night we had meetings called Ohana-meaning family. During that time Lou spoke about a call to the nations and something a long the lines of his Ministry being called The Call changing to The Send. There was just something significant and Holy about that night that God did in me specifically.
During that same week, one morning I woke up with this hunger inside of me to really give God everything I had. Holding nothing back. No self preservation, no fear of man, whatever that looked like I was going to give ALL of me to God. That same day we had an intercession time with Lou. It was loud and rowdy. I remember crying out and yelling as loud as I could. The hour of intercession ended but yet God was still doing something in the room. Everyone was free to leave but those that felt to stay were allowed. In that moment I decided to stay and the strangest thing happened to me that day that I am not sure if I will ever be able to fully explain. As I was praying, I felt like others around me could hear. Usually in those moments I quiet down out of fear, but I chose to not care and give God what I had. As I did that, the more I felt I could give. The more I cried out to God and prayed instead of feeling drained I felt like my capacity to give God more grew and the more and more I could give him. I literally felt like my spirit grew. Something in my belly enlarged. These words on the page do not do justice to what I felt happen inside of me. Im still boggled to this day. All I know is I grew inside and I was able to give God way more than I ever thought I could give without any fear. He was so proud of me.
At the end of that year God told me to go back home in Washington. I didn't want to. I was afraid and I had no idea what I was going to do. But I obeyed. I thought I would return to Kona in 2012 but God clearly told me to wait. As soon as I surrendered to his request, I had peace. After a few months the door opened up for me to help staff a 2 week Circuit Rider School that was going to be in Kansas City, Missouri at the International House of Prayer. I rode tripped with a few friends down there. We stopped in Denver, Colorado first for the end of the school happening there. During that trip, Lou Engle got up on stage and spoke about how that moment in time was significant for him, for what reasons I do not recall. But in that moment I knew it was another highlighted moment for me, Colorado was the 1st place I had flown to and knew God was calling me to go to YWAM as well as Lou Engle being there.
We then finally drove down to Kansas City. While there, this sweet Chinese woman came to pray for me. She prayed over me for a good 10 mins. Everything she had said over me, was everything that I was holding dear and praying to God for. I am forever grateful for that woman's obedience. I have since held onto a few of those things that God spoke through her. After that I was prepping to prepare snack for the worship leaders behind stage and out comes Lou. Him and I alone standing behind stage. As I am standing there, I remember years prior watching him on TV and thinking to myself, "I hope I get to run along side people like him who Love Jesus so much." Here I am with that happening. And every time I am around him I feel like there's always some sort of importance to it.
Fast Forward a bit to the end of 2012... I am back in Washington still unsure of the direction that I am going. Knowing all along God has called me to Missions and Ill have my own ministry some day. God then tells me to study the story of Joseph and the Book Of Joshua. I then went and got a book to help me study Joshua and another book called 'Dream Killers' unknowingly is about Joseph. One day as I was studying Joseph, God tells me "this is a season of Fulfilled promises over you and this region and the Sea hawks are going to win the Superbowl as a sign of what I am going to do" I am not a sports fan really, Ill watch the Superbowl but not a avid watcher! So this word was a little uncomfortable to me. I did not tell anyone until after the fact because I honestly was afraid that I heard wrong. After they destroyed the Broncos, I began to tell people what I felt like God said. And as I did, I was amazed at how many other people God as spoken a similar word to. It was definite confirmation that God is really doing something on the west coast.
Over the course of the next couple of years of 2013-2015 it was the most confusing and hard years I have ever experienced. All the while still believing that God said its a season of Fullfilled promises. He confirmed it and spoke it to me so many times. There are a few specific promises that he gave me that I haven't even seen them come close and very many times feeling discouraged and lonely. But God would still give me little glimpses of encouragement to keep me going. I went to a service in the Seattle area where Rick Pino was leading worship. The only other time I had seen him was while I was in Kansas City while that little Chinese lady prayed over me. After he sang, he paused and said I really feel like for some of you in particular this is a season of fulfilled promises. My jaw dropped. Thats the exact phrase God has been speaking to me for years! He began to share about the kingdom and seeds. We start out small and grow into trees. He explained a little about the verse that says Hope deferred makes the heart sick but a promise fulfilled is a tree of life. And promises start out like a seed and they grow into maturity and then begin to bear fruit. Everything he spoke about were little snippets of things God had spoken to me over the course of the last 3ish years. AHHHH! God so speaks to me and I am always amazed! He then shared a testimony about him and his wife. They were having trouble getting pregnant for years. So many people would give the prophetic words about them having children and after awhile it honestly gets hard to hear when you see nothing happen. Gods promise over them was fulfilled and they found out they were pregnant! I left so encouraged! God really is going to do whatever he promised!
2015-So now I am currently in Redding, California doing a school called BSSM (Bethel Supernatural School of Ministry). I never thought I would ever end up here. It was never my desire. But I do believe that God set it up and that I am here in this specific time. I have received so many prophetic words and haven't seen all of them come to pass but as I received words during our School retreat, I felt like God was giving me a blueprint and confirming thins he has spoken.
This is the Vision: I dream of having a home that is on acreage with a garden and able to have bon fires to have worship around. But this home is meant to be a place for people to come and feel loved and refreshed. A community that does life together that inner parts of them are healed. They dont just come in for a once in a while prayer time but a place where LIFE is lived and laughter is created! On top of that I am also dreaming of having a water sports business on the side that is also fully a part of the Home. I have been praying that God would give me the Home and or Land that this is supposed to happen. I cannot do this on my own. God also showed me that I would not have just one home but it would eventually expand and have "restoration" homes all over the world. I fully believe that I am here at Bethel getting healing up and learning about how to be a life coach and have healthy relationships so that I can be that for others. I KNOW God is going to do this. Hes been giving me PIECES of this literally for 10 years!
Please be praying for:
Doors to open
Discouragement wont have a place
People to come along side and be a team to carry this
Finances
Absolute BREAKTHROUGH
I know that I know that I know that this is a glimpse into what my future holds and what is on Gods heart. I would love to know if this is something that has been on your heart or would like to partner with the vision
Email me at : Shawnajoycemarie@gmail.com
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Saturday, July 11, 2015
An unexpected door opened
Many of you know that I have been on a journey of waiting for what God had next for me. Back in 2011 I went home to the Yakima Valley from staffing with YWAM in Kona, Hawaii for 2 years. It was difficult because I had no vision as to what I was to do. God clearly told me to wait on going back to Kona. I didn't have peace until I surrendered and said " Ok, God I choose to trust you and obey" even though its not what I wanted.
Its now been almost 5 years of waiting. Lots of things happened in the midst of those years, created friends lost friends. Moved around so much and felt so much like an orphan with no vision. I failed in my flesh much but God still was giving me small pieces of the puzzle along the way. He spoke to me about roots going down deep, He spoke to me about the Kingdom and Kingdom Seeds. and then one day He told me to study the story of Joseph and the book of Joshua. As I was sitting there reading Joshua, He suddenly spoke me in a way that he never has before. He clearly said to me "This is a season of fulfilled promises over you and over this region. And the Seahawks will win the Superbowl and a sign of what I am doing," Hope filled my heart but at the same time He never said something to me so big before. Mind you, I am the biggest football fan and I most definitely wasn't going to go around telling people that the Seahawks were going to win. As time went on and the Seahawks won a ridiculous game, I really started to believe what God had said to me. He confirmed it through so many things and also telling quite a few other people the same thing. So without a shadow of a doubt I know God said its a season of fulfilled promise. With that said, I still had no idea what looked like and still don't fully.
One day as I was driving, a question subtly ran through my mind..."What if you were to do BSSM?" Nothing I had ever desired to do and the thought just passed. The very next day, a good friend of mine messaged me on Facebook and asked "Have you ever thought about doing BSSM?!" Definitely felt like it was Holy Spirit orchestrated. After getting counsel from some trusted people and seeking the Lord. I am fully running in that direction. I am currently working 2 jobs and saving as much as I can. The school is $4500 for the whole year. As of right now I do not have all the money to cover the school. I need $2500 by the start of the school. I may be able to get close to that at the start date. I am trying to transfer to the Hilton Garden Inn down in Redding, but currently they are fully staffed. I will be paying rent and paying for my car as well. So more or less I am taking a risk and step of faith moving down there out of obedience and see what God is going to do.
Thank you to those who have been with me in the process and have encouraged me and loved me in the midst of hardship and pushing me forward. I am so thankful. I know its a season of fulfilled promise!
If you would like to give towards my tuition follow the link and type in my First and Last name :Shawna Schlenker
https://my.bssm.net/donations/students/search
Its now been almost 5 years of waiting. Lots of things happened in the midst of those years, created friends lost friends. Moved around so much and felt so much like an orphan with no vision. I failed in my flesh much but God still was giving me small pieces of the puzzle along the way. He spoke to me about roots going down deep, He spoke to me about the Kingdom and Kingdom Seeds. and then one day He told me to study the story of Joseph and the book of Joshua. As I was sitting there reading Joshua, He suddenly spoke me in a way that he never has before. He clearly said to me "This is a season of fulfilled promises over you and over this region. And the Seahawks will win the Superbowl and a sign of what I am doing," Hope filled my heart but at the same time He never said something to me so big before. Mind you, I am the biggest football fan and I most definitely wasn't going to go around telling people that the Seahawks were going to win. As time went on and the Seahawks won a ridiculous game, I really started to believe what God had said to me. He confirmed it through so many things and also telling quite a few other people the same thing. So without a shadow of a doubt I know God said its a season of fulfilled promise. With that said, I still had no idea what looked like and still don't fully.
One day as I was driving, a question subtly ran through my mind..."What if you were to do BSSM?" Nothing I had ever desired to do and the thought just passed. The very next day, a good friend of mine messaged me on Facebook and asked "Have you ever thought about doing BSSM?!" Definitely felt like it was Holy Spirit orchestrated. After getting counsel from some trusted people and seeking the Lord. I am fully running in that direction. I am currently working 2 jobs and saving as much as I can. The school is $4500 for the whole year. As of right now I do not have all the money to cover the school. I need $2500 by the start of the school. I may be able to get close to that at the start date. I am trying to transfer to the Hilton Garden Inn down in Redding, but currently they are fully staffed. I will be paying rent and paying for my car as well. So more or less I am taking a risk and step of faith moving down there out of obedience and see what God is going to do.
Thank you to those who have been with me in the process and have encouraged me and loved me in the midst of hardship and pushing me forward. I am so thankful. I know its a season of fulfilled promise!
If you would like to give towards my tuition follow the link and type in my First and Last name :Shawna Schlenker
https://my.bssm.net/donations/students/search
Tuesday, June 03, 2014
Seeds. Pregnancy. Small things. Big Things.
The Kingdom has been on my mind so much lately.. actually more than lately... there's become more of a groan inside of me to see His Kingdom manifested here on earth. Wherever I walk, wherever I go. He has been speaking to me about promises and that He will fulfill them. How I am pregnant with promise but its like this little thing inside of you that you can't really see. When you think of promise you think BIG, right? But this promise starts out so small. When God says to have faith as small as a mustard seed... its soo small, but that is all that is required for something large. Something as small as a seed can grow big like a tree! So, this question I've been pondering as I mop the floor at work or while I am driving... if God says to seek first the kingdom, what does that look like? I mean we are to love God with all our hearts, all our mind, all our soul, ALL of US... but why didn't he say seek first gazing at my face? Why did he say seek first the Kingdom? Because He is love and releasing the Kingdom is loving. When the kingdom is so backwards and upside down compared to the way the world works. It starts out soo small. If this promise has to grow in order to be manifested, how much care and value should be placed on it? So often we have searched for the Flashy and BIG thing, but God is calling for the faithful. To be honest, I have always looked for the destination and becoming who God wants me to be, instead of seeking him in the moment and just being okay with the day to day. Being faithful with the little, not that I haven't been faithful but I haven't been content. I have always wanted to just get to the next thing. While I was at work and just doing my routine, he convicted me and said that there are people right outside the door, right here, right now in this moment that need freedom and hope. You can bring the kingdom in this moment, not when you have a podium or if your well known but right here! God broke me. You know those moments when you just think about the broken or something that God told you and you weep. You feel his heart beat. He tugged at me to pray that, let me walk in the rhythm of your heartbeat. His heartbeat to bring freedom isn't waiting for when I'm given a podium but is beating and yearning for the ones who don't know right now!!Ahhh.... its so easy to go from Christian meeting to meeting and conference to conference. But I want to live the kingdom, I'm not there yet but I really want this small seed to grow into a big one where I am bearing much fruit no matter if I am working in the market place or if I am on a designated time to go on outreach. I know many people have said, "Shawna why don't you just serve where your at?" My heart wasn't in the right place and He has called me to the nations but its a new season and a grace now to run with a fluid run and releasing the kingdom that I haven't experienced before. Theres this yearning in my heart and its soo good. He is shifting things from My mind saying "God help me out" and turning into "God how can I fulfill the longing of your heart?" I am having a hard time finding the right words to describe what I feel in my spirit. Even though there are small seeds and promises that are made that haven't reached to the surface yet, I feel like something big is about to happen. I am expectant. He is doing something! Even though I don't see the whole picture or quite understand, I am burdened with his heart yearning for His Kingdom to come to earth. He's coming, he's coming, he's coming! His heart says they don't know! They don't know! Tell them! Tell them! That one feels forgotten, tell her I see her! That one feels lifeless, tell Him if he comes to me I can give it to him! That ones feels lost, tell him I have a plan for him! That one feels dirty, tell her She's my princess! Tell them, tell them! Oh tell them because they DONT KNOW! Oh if they would only come to me they would be free, but they don't know! Oh how I want them to know! If they would only come to me! Oh if they would only come to me! I hear him weeping, his longing heart, I want them to be free! They would if they WOULD ONLY COME TO ME! He sees the small things and turns them into big things. He made seed so that there would be trees. Kingdom. Let the Kingdom seeds be sown. I want to see a forest of Kingdom Trees. Small things. Big things. Seeds . Pregnancy. I am expectant.
Monday, May 19, 2014
Pregnant with Promise
When God speaks to me, He repeats phrases or words over and over and over to me through, people, books, songs, sermons, movies, you name it; it will show up every where I look. A couple months ago I felt a soft nudging to start studying a book of the bible. So, I went to the bible book store and found the section that had books to help you study specific books. The one that kept standing out to me was the book of Joshua and at the time not really knowing much about what was written in that book. All that rang in my mind was that God spoke repeatedly Joshua 1:9
(Be strong and courageous for I am with you wherever you go) to me before I left for my outreach in Fiji and multiple times through people when I had come home. As I sat down to study I began to feel refreshed and filled with life. And I felt like God was loudly saying I am raising you up like I did Joshua to lead a people into a promise land. I paused and looked outside and was filled with a sense of delight and I heard him whisper "I am fulfilling promises over you and over this region." On that particular day it was sunny and for those of you that don't know, where I live its rainy most of the time. I felt like God was saying I am lifting the clouds and I will change the atmosphere. This was also the week of the super bowl and ok I enjoy sports but I am not an avid sports fan which makes this part all the more humorous. The morning of the super bowl, it was a gorgeous sunny day and I felt the spirit of the Lord was saying the Seahawks are going to win but its a win for the region as a prophetic declaration as the beginning of fulfilling promises over this region. And as I watched that game and how they dominated! I think it just screamed GODS VICTORY! IT did change the atmosphere here. Everywhere you looked people were stoked and excited about life and how WE actually WON! No long faces, crouched shoulders, keep to yourself, everyone made sure that they went to that victory parade to party! Soon after I was asked to speak at this church gathering and I knew I had to share what God had just told me. It was funny to me, just because I enjoy sports but I am not a avid sports watcher or know all the stats and such... and here I was speaking to people about football and this prophetic promise. He is just funny. So, he's filling people with Hope again. He's filling me with Hope again.. He is fulfilling promises. I have had this song on repeat.... knowing God has me in this season and journeying into the promise land.
Soon after I had begun the study of Joshua, I went to a church and the very subject was about Joshua leading into the promise land. The thing that strikes me about that story is that they had to go into areas and completely wipe out the whole population, Woman and children. Joshua was an intense warrior, but everywhere he set foot God had promised he would give over into his hand. The victory had already been given over all he needed to do was be obedient and go forth. So, every where I turn God repeats Promise land, Promise, I am fulfilling promises. I listened just last night to a podcast by Melissa Hesler the one singing the song above, had just posted last night about the Fathers goodness in the wilderness and the promise land. It was just what I needed to hear and immediately after that I listened to the weekly podcast from Bethel in Redding. The first 10 mins or so Bill Johnson spoke about birthing impossibilities and the promises of God. God never ceases to amaze me. I love that he repeats him self to me over and over and over. Through so many different things. I don't know exactly what the promise land will look like but I do know I am headed there despite the things going on around me. I have had my moments of freak out but when I start to look at his face again. It all just fades away and all comes back into alignment. Oh yeah, Abba you are who you say you are. You do what you say you will do. It has been a long season in the wilderness and I am so thankful for the people that have been there for me in the midst of it. The ones now that have come around me to support me. His goodness is good and I want to drink deep of it. He is going to pour it out over this region. As much as I didn't want to be here, I have been for a reason. This thing that God is doing is unfolding and I cant see the end but whatever it is I want to be willing and waiting. As more time goes by and the more understanding and confirmation of what God has been speaking to me, I have been more willing to plow where I am. I went home for a baby shower and I was sharing with a relative about what God had been saying to me as well as what He said about the super bowl. She then encouraged me to tell my aunt. So, as I started to tell her what God was saying, she would say Do you know about what happened with me and the super bowl? I had no idea. She began to tell me that God had told her the same and that the Seahawks were going to win and it would be a blowout as a sign of what God is doing in this region! I am so blown away. I love that we can catch what the Spirit is saying and his children will always repeat it back to him. I am expectant to see what God is going to do in me and in this region. Even though I can't see what it looks like, as in the time when a woman finds out she is pregnant but she has no belly to show for it and doesn't know what gender it is. All she knows is that she is expecting. In due time it will show and be birthed.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promises is faithful Hebrews 10:23
(Be strong and courageous for I am with you wherever you go) to me before I left for my outreach in Fiji and multiple times through people when I had come home. As I sat down to study I began to feel refreshed and filled with life. And I felt like God was loudly saying I am raising you up like I did Joshua to lead a people into a promise land. I paused and looked outside and was filled with a sense of delight and I heard him whisper "I am fulfilling promises over you and over this region." On that particular day it was sunny and for those of you that don't know, where I live its rainy most of the time. I felt like God was saying I am lifting the clouds and I will change the atmosphere. This was also the week of the super bowl and ok I enjoy sports but I am not an avid sports fan which makes this part all the more humorous. The morning of the super bowl, it was a gorgeous sunny day and I felt the spirit of the Lord was saying the Seahawks are going to win but its a win for the region as a prophetic declaration as the beginning of fulfilling promises over this region. And as I watched that game and how they dominated! I think it just screamed GODS VICTORY! IT did change the atmosphere here. Everywhere you looked people were stoked and excited about life and how WE actually WON! No long faces, crouched shoulders, keep to yourself, everyone made sure that they went to that victory parade to party! Soon after I was asked to speak at this church gathering and I knew I had to share what God had just told me. It was funny to me, just because I enjoy sports but I am not a avid sports watcher or know all the stats and such... and here I was speaking to people about football and this prophetic promise. He is just funny. So, he's filling people with Hope again. He's filling me with Hope again.. He is fulfilling promises. I have had this song on repeat.... knowing God has me in this season and journeying into the promise land.
Soon after I had begun the study of Joshua, I went to a church and the very subject was about Joshua leading into the promise land. The thing that strikes me about that story is that they had to go into areas and completely wipe out the whole population, Woman and children. Joshua was an intense warrior, but everywhere he set foot God had promised he would give over into his hand. The victory had already been given over all he needed to do was be obedient and go forth. So, every where I turn God repeats Promise land, Promise, I am fulfilling promises. I listened just last night to a podcast by Melissa Hesler the one singing the song above, had just posted last night about the Fathers goodness in the wilderness and the promise land. It was just what I needed to hear and immediately after that I listened to the weekly podcast from Bethel in Redding. The first 10 mins or so Bill Johnson spoke about birthing impossibilities and the promises of God. God never ceases to amaze me. I love that he repeats him self to me over and over and over. Through so many different things. I don't know exactly what the promise land will look like but I do know I am headed there despite the things going on around me. I have had my moments of freak out but when I start to look at his face again. It all just fades away and all comes back into alignment. Oh yeah, Abba you are who you say you are. You do what you say you will do. It has been a long season in the wilderness and I am so thankful for the people that have been there for me in the midst of it. The ones now that have come around me to support me. His goodness is good and I want to drink deep of it. He is going to pour it out over this region. As much as I didn't want to be here, I have been for a reason. This thing that God is doing is unfolding and I cant see the end but whatever it is I want to be willing and waiting. As more time goes by and the more understanding and confirmation of what God has been speaking to me, I have been more willing to plow where I am. I went home for a baby shower and I was sharing with a relative about what God had been saying to me as well as what He said about the super bowl. She then encouraged me to tell my aunt. So, as I started to tell her what God was saying, she would say Do you know about what happened with me and the super bowl? I had no idea. She began to tell me that God had told her the same and that the Seahawks were going to win and it would be a blowout as a sign of what God is doing in this region! I am so blown away. I love that we can catch what the Spirit is saying and his children will always repeat it back to him. I am expectant to see what God is going to do in me and in this region. Even though I can't see what it looks like, as in the time when a woman finds out she is pregnant but she has no belly to show for it and doesn't know what gender it is. All she knows is that she is expecting. In due time it will show and be birthed.
Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promises is faithful Hebrews 10:23
Sunday, March 30, 2014
Vision Casting
Where there is no Vision, the people perish: but he that keepth the law, happy is he. Proverbs 29:18
I've heard the words thrown around and I have said them about my self and to others but I think really understanding what each of them mean and how they apply to you is very important. How is it that we will fulfill what He has asked of us if we don't understand or know the vision?
We are appointed, anointed, carry mandates and mantles. If we don't know what those even are but they just get thrown around I think we get in trouble of loosing sight and soon perish. I've wandered because I haven't fully kept the vision of what he has called me to, appointed me for, anointed me to do, carry the mantle and hold the mandate.
appointed: to choose (someone) to have a particular job : to give (someone) a position or duty: to decide or establish (something) in an official way: to decide (the time or place at which something will happen or be done)
anointed:: to officially or formally choose (someone) to do or to be something
mandate: an official order to do something: the power to act that voters give to their elected leaders
mantle: the position of someone who has responsibility or authority
I think when you can answer those questions about yourself, will help your vision greatly and know what to run after. Not that I have it all answered or figured out but there's something to be said about having vision and how it brings life.
I know I carry a MANTLE of JOY and Life that changes atmospheres and breaks chains off of people.
I am ANOINTED to mend and disciple the hopeless and brokenhearted.
I don't know what my MANDATE is but I'm pressing into Him who will give that to me.
I am APPOINTED to be an evangelist to the Nations.
I am called to be a MESSENGER, one that shares the heart of God, His Holiness, Purity, and LOVE.
I DESIRE to be about His business and bring the Kingdom, living a Kingdom Lifestyle.
God has been speaking to me about the Process into the Promise. Sometimes I don't always know what he has promised me or what the Promised Land will look like. Which makes it harder to know what I am fighting for, but as I spent time with Him he told me to remember the things He has said to me, spoken over me. Remember the Promise. Seek out what those promises are.
So, He is taking me somewhere. A place of fulfillment. A place of PROMISE. But it will not be handed to me on a silver platter. When Joshua was called to lead the Israelites God repeatedly told him 'Be strong and courageous for I am with you wherever you go.' Knowingly there would be battles to claim that Land. But He went into those battles with a victorious heart knowing that God would give them over. Same with Joseph, God had given him Dreams and Promises. The battles and seasons he had to go through seemed devastating, but He HELD onto Gods words and Promises!
Gods Hope is Sure! When HE gives you Hope for a future... its not flighty and not a WHAT IF. HE is not a man that He should LIE. It is True. It is weighty. It is SURE. It WILL COME TO PASS! Doesn't that just lift your heart?! It does mine!
"Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:24
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5
God is so good. I love him so much. He has never failed me, even in the darkest of nights and the highest of Days.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
There is so much more to life than this and I am not about to settle for anything less than what God has. So lets fight for that PROMISE.
I've heard the words thrown around and I have said them about my self and to others but I think really understanding what each of them mean and how they apply to you is very important. How is it that we will fulfill what He has asked of us if we don't understand or know the vision?
We are appointed, anointed, carry mandates and mantles. If we don't know what those even are but they just get thrown around I think we get in trouble of loosing sight and soon perish. I've wandered because I haven't fully kept the vision of what he has called me to, appointed me for, anointed me to do, carry the mantle and hold the mandate.
appointed: to choose (someone) to have a particular job : to give (someone) a position or duty: to decide or establish (something) in an official way: to decide (the time or place at which something will happen or be done)
anointed:: to officially or formally choose (someone) to do or to be something
mandate: an official order to do something: the power to act that voters give to their elected leaders
mantle: the position of someone who has responsibility or authority
I think when you can answer those questions about yourself, will help your vision greatly and know what to run after. Not that I have it all answered or figured out but there's something to be said about having vision and how it brings life.
I know I carry a MANTLE of JOY and Life that changes atmospheres and breaks chains off of people.
I am ANOINTED to mend and disciple the hopeless and brokenhearted.
I don't know what my MANDATE is but I'm pressing into Him who will give that to me.
I am APPOINTED to be an evangelist to the Nations.
I am called to be a MESSENGER, one that shares the heart of God, His Holiness, Purity, and LOVE.
I DESIRE to be about His business and bring the Kingdom, living a Kingdom Lifestyle.
God has been speaking to me about the Process into the Promise. Sometimes I don't always know what he has promised me or what the Promised Land will look like. Which makes it harder to know what I am fighting for, but as I spent time with Him he told me to remember the things He has said to me, spoken over me. Remember the Promise. Seek out what those promises are.
So, He is taking me somewhere. A place of fulfillment. A place of PROMISE. But it will not be handed to me on a silver platter. When Joshua was called to lead the Israelites God repeatedly told him 'Be strong and courageous for I am with you wherever you go.' Knowingly there would be battles to claim that Land. But He went into those battles with a victorious heart knowing that God would give them over. Same with Joseph, God had given him Dreams and Promises. The battles and seasons he had to go through seemed devastating, but He HELD onto Gods words and Promises!
Gods Hope is Sure! When HE gives you Hope for a future... its not flighty and not a WHAT IF. HE is not a man that He should LIE. It is True. It is weighty. It is SURE. It WILL COME TO PASS! Doesn't that just lift your heart?! It does mine!
"Not one of all the Lord's good promises to the house of Israel failed; every one was fulfilled." Joshua 21:24
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Romans 5:5
God is so good. I love him so much. He has never failed me, even in the darkest of nights and the highest of Days.
Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
There is so much more to life than this and I am not about to settle for anything less than what God has. So lets fight for that PROMISE.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
May my Roots go down deep
I wrote this almost a year ago and as I was reading it I felt like it should be shared. Be encouraged!
Its been months since I have even felt like writing... I have been home for 5 months almost 6...trying to figure out what God is doing. Why am I here....? I know the things that God has called me to but for some reason everything seems like he has put me on HAULT! Whenever that happens my instant response is fear that He is denying me. That my hopes of God actually having an amazing adventure for my life would have only been a season... To be honest... the past 9 months have been a battle... and the hard thing for me, was that I couldn't figure out WHAT I was battling... My heart began to get hard... even frustrated with God... even question if God is really who he says he is or was He just telling me something I wanted to hear? Deep down inside I know thats not true... but it was so hard to shake off how real that statement felt. Ive never been more aware of my flaws...Ive been more challenged with what I believe this past year... than I think I ever have.
Around this time last year I was in Israel and it changed my life. We as a group...laughed the whole time! It was incredible. It was so freeing for me. God redeemed so much through that trip. I finally felt like I was able to have friends again like I did before I left for my DTS and lost my closest friends. There was a specific moment where, one of the people in our crew was sharing their testimony with me and God showed me the area of pain that I was holding onto and suddenly I had a revelation that I could FINALLY Let GO! I had prayed and prayed that I would be able to be free from it and no longer be in pain from it. And HE DID IT! I had come back feeling so light and free. I had never felt that before.It was noticeable too... I was happy... genuinely happy inside. I know I have a bubbly personality but I actually felt happiness inside. But Satan wasn't too happy and the battle began. Before I knew it.... that "feeling" wasn't there anymore.
We were well into the school and Lou Engle was going to speak. I was so expectant for God to do something. Whatever it was I wanted to be a part of it. I woke up that morning telling my self...you are going to give God your all... not matter if there is people are around you and you look stupid. Later that day, we had intercession and the hours set for intercession were over but those that wanted to stay could... I was so hungry that day. We started to just travail in the spirit. I had yelled out to God with all I had... even when my thoughts said "shawna...there are people around tone it down...dont go too far..." but when all my spirit wanted to do was to go faster...go harder. But I agreed with what I told myself that morning... and I just went for it... the more I gave up to God... the more I felt I could give... It was so strange, the more I pushed the more energy I had to give back to Him. As I was doing that, I felt like something in my spirit grew. I cant explain it any other way. Afterwards... I just didn't really understand what was going on inside of me. Then I felt God softly speak to me about a tree. A trees roots have to go down deeper and spread out farther than the canopy of the tree, otherwise when the winds blow, and storms come. The tree will just topple over. Somehow that was happening inside of me...
He did so much in me... and maybe the struggle was just testing my faith. How far did my roots really go? These last couple of months at home have been lonely and hard to see God. I was planning to go back to Kona, but it seems like God was almost shouting WAIT! I don't understand why? I don't know why I still have some of those struggles? But I am not God. I want to be like that tree planted by streams of water. To trust God even when I don't understand and the circumstance may seem too hard to get out of. I'm learning that I don't need all the answers but I need to just simply trust God. I don't want to base things on how I feel...or my emotions but to be steadfast and firm because my roots have gone deep in the Spirit and word of God.
"He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8
Its been months since I have even felt like writing... I have been home for 5 months almost 6...trying to figure out what God is doing. Why am I here....? I know the things that God has called me to but for some reason everything seems like he has put me on HAULT! Whenever that happens my instant response is fear that He is denying me. That my hopes of God actually having an amazing adventure for my life would have only been a season... To be honest... the past 9 months have been a battle... and the hard thing for me, was that I couldn't figure out WHAT I was battling... My heart began to get hard... even frustrated with God... even question if God is really who he says he is or was He just telling me something I wanted to hear? Deep down inside I know thats not true... but it was so hard to shake off how real that statement felt. Ive never been more aware of my flaws...Ive been more challenged with what I believe this past year... than I think I ever have.
Around this time last year I was in Israel and it changed my life. We as a group...laughed the whole time! It was incredible. It was so freeing for me. God redeemed so much through that trip. I finally felt like I was able to have friends again like I did before I left for my DTS and lost my closest friends. There was a specific moment where, one of the people in our crew was sharing their testimony with me and God showed me the area of pain that I was holding onto and suddenly I had a revelation that I could FINALLY Let GO! I had prayed and prayed that I would be able to be free from it and no longer be in pain from it. And HE DID IT! I had come back feeling so light and free. I had never felt that before.It was noticeable too... I was happy... genuinely happy inside. I know I have a bubbly personality but I actually felt happiness inside. But Satan wasn't too happy and the battle began. Before I knew it.... that "feeling" wasn't there anymore.
We were well into the school and Lou Engle was going to speak. I was so expectant for God to do something. Whatever it was I wanted to be a part of it. I woke up that morning telling my self...you are going to give God your all... not matter if there is people are around you and you look stupid. Later that day, we had intercession and the hours set for intercession were over but those that wanted to stay could... I was so hungry that day. We started to just travail in the spirit. I had yelled out to God with all I had... even when my thoughts said "shawna...there are people around tone it down...dont go too far..." but when all my spirit wanted to do was to go faster...go harder. But I agreed with what I told myself that morning... and I just went for it... the more I gave up to God... the more I felt I could give... It was so strange, the more I pushed the more energy I had to give back to Him. As I was doing that, I felt like something in my spirit grew. I cant explain it any other way. Afterwards... I just didn't really understand what was going on inside of me. Then I felt God softly speak to me about a tree. A trees roots have to go down deeper and spread out farther than the canopy of the tree, otherwise when the winds blow, and storms come. The tree will just topple over. Somehow that was happening inside of me...
He did so much in me... and maybe the struggle was just testing my faith. How far did my roots really go? These last couple of months at home have been lonely and hard to see God. I was planning to go back to Kona, but it seems like God was almost shouting WAIT! I don't understand why? I don't know why I still have some of those struggles? But I am not God. I want to be like that tree planted by streams of water. To trust God even when I don't understand and the circumstance may seem too hard to get out of. I'm learning that I don't need all the answers but I need to just simply trust God. I don't want to base things on how I feel...or my emotions but to be steadfast and firm because my roots have gone deep in the Spirit and word of God.
"He will be like a tree planted by water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes, its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:8
Thursday, March 20, 2014
The Process into the Promise!
I warn you it is a little long but I pray that you will be so encouraged and challenged!
It has been far too long since I have wrote a blog. Many of you may be wondering where in the World I am! I can assure you that I am still alive, still in Love with Jesus, and still pursuing what he has for me!
I actually was re-reading some of my previous blogs and just remembering where God has taken me and what he has done in me and through me. And hopefully my current posts will be a little more grammar correct! haha ;)
My last Blog I talked about how God had taken me unexpectedly to California and I left it off there. Even more unexpectedly God brought me back to Washington. As hard as that was for me, God has used it for the best and I am so grateful what God has brought out of me being home.
I left California the end of 2012 very confused, feeling very lost, and very unsure. God had been so clear with me the last 7 years of my life and where he wanted me. So clear, and suddenly he was silent. And now I had come home to my Dad being back in the hospital being very ill and we were all very afraid of loosing him. I would visit him in the hospital and watch my dad whom used to be very strong and run hard after the Lord barely be able to feed him self or even talk. My mom would stay with him in the Hospital and I would drive home to stay with my little sister. I would speak in tongues and shout and cry and shout and plead with God to save my dad. I was angry, confused, scared, numb... I couldn't loose my dad. I need him. I love him. He gives me so much Godly biblical advice. And I want him to WALK me down the isle someday. (He almost lost his leg in the process) My heart posture was in a place of holding God accountable. Everything I learned being on the mission field, warring in the spirit, praying to heal the sick and mend the broken was being tested. It wasn't this high that I experienced while with hundreds of other young believers but it was so close to home it made it go down deep and even harder to press in. But oh did I grow. My dad got out of the Hospital and he still has his leg. (Although he still in the process of keeping healthy)
I soon moved back over the mountains with a family that most you reading this will know. I started to working again, which was a really hard transition and broke some pride in me. But of course, I've grown so much through it. I am currently the Front End Manager at a cupcake shop. Which before if I was ever offered such responsibility I would try to sly my way out. I know God has called me, anointed me and has called me to Lead. I've matured. I see things differently. I am not so afraid of carrying such responsibility any more and I know he's using it because of where he is taking me and what he has called me to carry. I have been given some of the best friends I could ask for and Hes truly fulfilling promises and desires! Its been such a process and I know its not fully over but I have a weighty hope that He is taking me somewhere glorious. I can truly tell you he's has done such a work in me. I am different and I am not done.
I have been out of community and ministry for about a year or so now and even though I don't understand. I do know that I am more confident now about no matter what others say, believers or not, that he has given me promises and he will raise me up to who wants me to be and what he has called me to do. Because he said so. When I came back from California, I felt defeated and I honestly hid. I would got to church functions, prayer meetings, youth gatherings. I wouldn't step out. I wouldn't pray. I wouldn't worship freely. I hid. Satan was telling me that I was worth nothing anymore. I lost all my passion. That warring spirit dimmed. I started to think I didn't have what it takes anymore. He's such a liar. The more church functions I went to, the more I hid, and the MORE God called me out. I never got called out and given a word from a prophet or anything like that in YWAM. But it happened constantly when I was at home and the words were always right on. I was HIDING and HE was calling ME OUT! EVEN while I was sitting in parking lot at 11pm and not even a church function! God sent someone I didn't know TO ME and CALLED ME OUT!
When I was in Kansas City/IHOP for Circuit Riders, a song that we had sung was about God chasing us down after He had just chased me down. You see, I thought he stopped chasing me but he CLEARLY hasn't. He wont ever stop. I just stopped looking at his Face. You cant help but be undone before Him when we gaze at his Eyes of Fire. His burning passion. It always brings me to tears... He is just so good. And I am so thankful that He loves me and pursues me and doesn't stop chasing me. There has been so many things I could tell you that seem so little in the mundane where He has romanced me and shown me that He sees me. He hasn't forgotten me. And that he SIMPLY just LOVES lil ol ME!
I don't know what my life will look like in a year, in a few months and it certainly has looked way different than I thought it was going to be. But this is my heart cry right now "We will become people who are undone before you and we will become a people not afraid to give it all. Chase me down, let your love chase me down." Guys when we know we are loved by him and its gone down deep our response is only to give it way and show others how amazing our ABBA is. So this is where I am at. I am in Gig Harbor working at a cupcake shop and I am running after God in a deeper way. I wont stop. I pray that I would be more hungry that no matter whom I am around that He seeps out of me and I cant hold Him in. That's my desire. That He would be known through me. Hes just too good not too!
Please continue to pray for direction and clarity and that I would move and make decisions with wisdom. I only want what HE has for me! Not my will but HIS!
I am a missionary where I am at so please cover me in prayer!
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear feedback!
Love you all!
It has been far too long since I have wrote a blog. Many of you may be wondering where in the World I am! I can assure you that I am still alive, still in Love with Jesus, and still pursuing what he has for me!
I actually was re-reading some of my previous blogs and just remembering where God has taken me and what he has done in me and through me. And hopefully my current posts will be a little more grammar correct! haha ;)
My last Blog I talked about how God had taken me unexpectedly to California and I left it off there. Even more unexpectedly God brought me back to Washington. As hard as that was for me, God has used it for the best and I am so grateful what God has brought out of me being home.
I left California the end of 2012 very confused, feeling very lost, and very unsure. God had been so clear with me the last 7 years of my life and where he wanted me. So clear, and suddenly he was silent. And now I had come home to my Dad being back in the hospital being very ill and we were all very afraid of loosing him. I would visit him in the hospital and watch my dad whom used to be very strong and run hard after the Lord barely be able to feed him self or even talk. My mom would stay with him in the Hospital and I would drive home to stay with my little sister. I would speak in tongues and shout and cry and shout and plead with God to save my dad. I was angry, confused, scared, numb... I couldn't loose my dad. I need him. I love him. He gives me so much Godly biblical advice. And I want him to WALK me down the isle someday. (He almost lost his leg in the process) My heart posture was in a place of holding God accountable. Everything I learned being on the mission field, warring in the spirit, praying to heal the sick and mend the broken was being tested. It wasn't this high that I experienced while with hundreds of other young believers but it was so close to home it made it go down deep and even harder to press in. But oh did I grow. My dad got out of the Hospital and he still has his leg. (Although he still in the process of keeping healthy)
I soon moved back over the mountains with a family that most you reading this will know. I started to working again, which was a really hard transition and broke some pride in me. But of course, I've grown so much through it. I am currently the Front End Manager at a cupcake shop. Which before if I was ever offered such responsibility I would try to sly my way out. I know God has called me, anointed me and has called me to Lead. I've matured. I see things differently. I am not so afraid of carrying such responsibility any more and I know he's using it because of where he is taking me and what he has called me to carry. I have been given some of the best friends I could ask for and Hes truly fulfilling promises and desires! Its been such a process and I know its not fully over but I have a weighty hope that He is taking me somewhere glorious. I can truly tell you he's has done such a work in me. I am different and I am not done.
I have been out of community and ministry for about a year or so now and even though I don't understand. I do know that I am more confident now about no matter what others say, believers or not, that he has given me promises and he will raise me up to who wants me to be and what he has called me to do. Because he said so. When I came back from California, I felt defeated and I honestly hid. I would got to church functions, prayer meetings, youth gatherings. I wouldn't step out. I wouldn't pray. I wouldn't worship freely. I hid. Satan was telling me that I was worth nothing anymore. I lost all my passion. That warring spirit dimmed. I started to think I didn't have what it takes anymore. He's such a liar. The more church functions I went to, the more I hid, and the MORE God called me out. I never got called out and given a word from a prophet or anything like that in YWAM. But it happened constantly when I was at home and the words were always right on. I was HIDING and HE was calling ME OUT! EVEN while I was sitting in parking lot at 11pm and not even a church function! God sent someone I didn't know TO ME and CALLED ME OUT!
When I was in Kansas City/IHOP for Circuit Riders, a song that we had sung was about God chasing us down after He had just chased me down. You see, I thought he stopped chasing me but he CLEARLY hasn't. He wont ever stop. I just stopped looking at his Face. You cant help but be undone before Him when we gaze at his Eyes of Fire. His burning passion. It always brings me to tears... He is just so good. And I am so thankful that He loves me and pursues me and doesn't stop chasing me. There has been so many things I could tell you that seem so little in the mundane where He has romanced me and shown me that He sees me. He hasn't forgotten me. And that he SIMPLY just LOVES lil ol ME!
I don't know what my life will look like in a year, in a few months and it certainly has looked way different than I thought it was going to be. But this is my heart cry right now "We will become people who are undone before you and we will become a people not afraid to give it all. Chase me down, let your love chase me down." Guys when we know we are loved by him and its gone down deep our response is only to give it way and show others how amazing our ABBA is. So this is where I am at. I am in Gig Harbor working at a cupcake shop and I am running after God in a deeper way. I wont stop. I pray that I would be more hungry that no matter whom I am around that He seeps out of me and I cant hold Him in. That's my desire. That He would be known through me. Hes just too good not too!
Please continue to pray for direction and clarity and that I would move and make decisions with wisdom. I only want what HE has for me! Not my will but HIS!
I am a missionary where I am at so please cover me in prayer!
Thanks for reading! I would love to hear feedback!
Love you all!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)