I heard it!

Justice. Righteousness. Israel. Thoughts. Buzzing and Buzzing all over in my being. God has been speaking to me incredibly clear and a lot lately. My spirit has been more aware than I think it has ever been! I have been meaning to write an entry for about a week now, but I needed some time to wrestle and process the things God has been doing inside of me. Tomorrow is April 1st! I think I say this every entry but TIME FLIES! The first quarter of the year is over and new students come in next week! WHOA! I am currently working in student services where I help get students get here! I answer their questions and get their files processed. Peoples lives are changing, sometimes I'm not always aware of that but that is the reality!

Lately, God has been stirring in me about Justice and Righteousness. What is righteousness? How are we considered righteous? In everything God does, he does it with righteousness. I'm not fully there yet but God is moving! Along those lines... God is teaching me how to be vulnerable. How to honestly repent... you know as crazy and simple as it sounds... I had a revelation that I sin. I SIN.... YES  S. I. N. SIN! I make mistakes. I have faults that are unpleasing to the Lord but yet he loves me. He is patient with me. He is showing me things in my life that I can't just have as knowledge but must act upon. Faith without action is dead! Its not about knowledge or doing good works that saves you, but if you believe something and never act on it. What good is if for you to even believe it? Why would it even matter if you don't act upon it. It would become meaningless. Hes teaching me to walk hahaha. WHAT on earth? He is teaching me to faith walk... Its not easy but its freeing.

In the very beginning of this entry I typed Israel, well there is a very significant reason why. In the month of May, me and 2 other girls that I staff with are planning to take a trip to Israel for 3 weeks to a month. God has been pouring out things to what this trip will be about and it kinda blows my mind. But there are a few things that have to happen in order for us to go. Currently we are praying for a guy to go with us. That is a must. Secondly, I praying for the funds to go because as of right now I have zero towards that trip. That as well is a must. At the end of our Awaken DTS of last year, us staff filled out a questionnaire email and there was a question about what countries God had been speaking to us about. I would say that about 90% of us had said ISRAEL. When I heard of the idea of going to Israel with some of my staff I had instant peace about it.  I had previously never really felt a burden or a pull towards it but I believe God is calling us to go in this hour. Many of our other awaken staff are traveling across the USA to gain perspective on what God is doing in his church. It has been amazing. God is setting up almost all of our staff on some sort of trip that will be influential on where we will take future teams as well and gaining impartation. These are a few things God has been speaking to me about this trip.

• Proclaiming Scripture of the land, declaring truth, calling Israel back into its rightful destiny.
• Intercession
• Impartation. God will impart something in us that we will be able to in turn impart to our students and fellow staffers.
• Gain understanding on what God is doing in his people and what he longs to do on the earth.

I am really looking forward to this trip. After we get back we immediately head into staff training as Awaken staff. We will take time to focus and pray into our school. Build our community as staffers and pour into each other and then our school begins July 7th! This summer is going to be FIRE. God is going to bring I believe bigger revelation than we thought.

Prayers

• at least $2500 for Israel. Plane tickets. Housing. Food.
• Details for Israel
• To be more intentional with relationships
• Monthly supporters. Financially and Prayfully. Both are HIGHLY needed
• My biological Family
• Strength to keep focused 
• Clear communication with my Awaken family
• Consistent deep friendships
• Unity amongst my Awaken team, amongst other schools on campus, and in the body worldwide

Personal needs

• Clothing such as shorts and jeans. 
• Backpack
• New computer
• financial supporters
• sunglasses 

I pray that God is stirring your heart and taking you into a deeper place with him. I pray that you hear is voice clearer than you have ever heard it. I pray for provision and direction to where God wants you to be.

Shh.... Listen... Can you HEAR it?

What a week... I have been in Kona for almost a month now and its already been a wild ride. The first week I was here I was beyond excited to be back. I felt no trouble in my heart, what a sweet place to be. After all of the excitement began to wear off... God began to ask me some wrestling questions. I would look around and not know as many people because of all the new students here for the current DTS', my heart would sometimes feel lonely. Of course, this would trouble me. I then would go and pout to Jesus... hes so patient with me, and in that time he would ask me... "Shawna, would you still serve me if everyone on this campus rejected you?" Would you still give me all that you are, even when all of those people don't agree or love you? I didn't really answer, but repeatedly day after day, Jesus would ask me this question. I felt so convicted. My hunger for Jesus just grew. I realized that my mind has stayed stuck in that mindset of wanting to please man and be satisfied with what they can give me more than Jesus. My heart broke. My soul YEARNED. My flesh cried out. My spirit longs for more but my flesh argues. It makes me so sad when I see my self treat Jesus this way. I'd like to think I have it all together, but that is far from the truth. I truly want Jesus more than anything and I need Gods help to make my flesh die!

Allen Hood, a leader from the International House of Prayer in Kansas City, was here to speak to a school for about a week. He had a few special times of speaking in our prayer room that was open for all to come. The first night he spoke about the baptism of Fire and the very last night God revealed himself through the Holy Spirit in an AWESOME way. Before He even got up to speak, the spirit was heavy in the room. The reverence of God was showing up! We began to wail and cry out, we were birthing something in the spirit. My heart was aching because I felt like this deep deep groan needed to come out of me. I long for us all to be so undignified before the Lord, but I know my self I hold back at times out of fear... How lame is that! God was reminding me in that moment of the urgency and need for us to give everything fully over to Jesus. He kept saying to me, "I want to do a new thing!" Shortly after Allen began to share a few things that God has been putting on his heart. My spirit was so stirred and encouraged because God had been speaking the same thing to me. For those of you that received my newsletter I shared a little bit about this on there. The word God spoke to me about this was " a year of breakthrough." I felt as we step out and go after the things of God, he is going reveal himself in ways to the body that will leave us awestruck. The word that Allen had shared was that he felt like especially for YWAM that it is a new season. The last night a shift had happened. We need the holy spirit! No matter how much knowledge we have attained about him or history or earthly wisdom. WE need His HOLY SPIRIT TO SHOW UP! With out it we are dead!!!!! I am so thankful for it too. He encountered me that night. He has in many different ways before but this night was very very needed. I was so dry and thirsty. I have never shook like that before... the amount of peace that came on me was soo good all I could do was drink it in. A few moments later by body felt like I was on FIRE.... My hands began to burn. He started to burn away my anxiety. He was taking something off me that I cant really explain and putting on a new pair of clothing. I believe that night was a marking point of Jesus doing something NEW...not just in me but in the body. Many left that night making a deep real commitment to give it all away to Jesus. Making a covenant to never part from his side no matter the cost. That is what he desires. Loyal friends. Loyal lovers.

A couple days after Allen had left, as many of you know a Tsunami Hit Japan, Here in Kona Hawaii, and many other places. Around 10pm our Tsunami sirens began to sound. People began to come out of their rooms to see what was really happening. At almost every hour the alarm would sound. People that were below Kuakini Highway(which is the street at the bottom of our campus, we were ok) were evacuated. Many people had stayed up until 4 am to await this mysterious disaster. I on the other hand I didn't feel the need. So I went to sleep, well at least I tried. That morning I woke up not really knowing if anything happened because everything was quiet and no one came to alarm me of any damage. I soon found out that downtown was affected and before it was cleaned up, looked like a third world country. God began speaking to me. He was giving me deeper revelation about being awakened. He said I call out to those sleeping, awake awake o sleeper. I sound alarms. I am coming! Prepare yourself, I am coming my bride! But there are those who don't bother to listen. They say "don't bother me, nothing is happening. I am sleeping." But he came like a thief of the night and you knew nothing of it. You didn't listen because you couldn't see me. You did not heed the warnings.You did not listen, now the damage is done. I saw how I slept and the disaster downtown came and left and I knew nothing of it til I awoke, is what is happening in the spirit realm. So many are sleeping and ignoring the warnings that Jesus is giving us.  Hebrews 3:7-8 So, as the Holy Spirit says: "Today, if you hear his voice do not harden your hearts as you did in the rebellion, during the time of testing in the wilderness."  

Revelation 3: 12-14 The one who is victorious I will make a pillar in the temple of my God. Never again will they leave it. I will write on them the name of my God and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which is coming down out of heaven from my God; and I will also write on them my new name.  Whoever has ears, let them hear what the Spirit says to the churches.

I want to be aware. More aware of what He is saying all the time. He is preparing a bride for when he is to return and I want to be able give Jesus everything no matter what the cost.


Shh... Listen... can you hear what the Spirit is saying...? Shh... Listen....

One day at a time

I Made it back to this home of mine, out in the deep blue. Its been a week or so and it has been so refreshing. I truly believe that being home for those 2 months re-directed my focus and shifted some of my thinking. Being back on campus definitely feels different but it is good. Although I have been blessed with such an amazing crew to be working with, the sole purpose and focus of being here is to be serving and bring glory to Jesus. It is easy to loose sight of that but everyday I want to living out the first commandment. Loving God with all of my heart, my mind, my soul, and strength. I want that to be at the forefront, walking it out not just knowing it and proclaiming but LIVING it! So here is a glimpse of what my week looks like. My schedule will adjust a little since it has only been a week. Monday through Friday I will be investing my time in student services which is writing letters of acceptance and answering any questions incoming students may have.

Monday we have campus wide worship that is always amazing.
Wednesday- Awaken staff get together to have a Daniel Study using International House of Prayer DVDS http://store.ihop.org/store/product/12118/Daniel-%28DVD-Set%29/
Thursday nights we have Ohana gatherings where we have corparate worship and the Message or topic varies each week.
Fridays I have lunch and meetings with the crew I work with in Student Services.
Sundays Awaken staff have started to meet together and have church. We worship and someone brings a word as well as going through the Truth Project with Focus on the Family (follow link to check it out http://www.thetruthproject.org/ )

I also may be working in the Prayer Room. Ill keep you updated.

On somewhat a different note. Id like to share a friends vision that he is about to walk out. I am so excited for this and fully support what hes doing. He wrote up an outline of what this vision looks like... its a bit long but its worth it. So please read check it out. Keep him and his team in prayer and if you want to be involved in anyway, let me know and Ill set you up.

Seattle House of Prayer

History

A vision was given to Alex Graves in September of 2010. It consists of a map of Seattle covered in dots that represent houses of prayer. Above each house were open heavens, and the glory of God came down, and His light spread, connecting the houses and transformed Seattle from a city of darkness to a city of light.

Vision

A community of believers loving the Lord and seeing the city of Seattle transformed by this love.

Mission

Implementing houses of prayer that cultivate authentic community*, centered around the presence of God and leading to revival* and reformation* in Seattle.  "Love God, love people, love Seattle."

    ▪       Core values

                ⁃     Ministering to the heart of the Lord

            ⁃         Authentic community

            ⁃         Missional lifestyle

Goals and Action

    ▪       Goals

            To see the power of God influencing the 7 spheres of society: 1) home 2) church 3) government and politics 4) business and economy 5) science and technology 6) media 7) arts, entertainment, and sports

    ▪       Actions

                        1) Living as a community, participating in group and individual studies, and inviting in speakers for various teachings. Begin with praying and worshipping for 2-4 hours a day and move toward 24 hours per day

                        2) Move into heavy involvement in community (first focus is on neighbors...then move outward)

                        3) As people join and develop vision we expand and grow by adding more SHOPs

Three Forms of SHOP

            1) Community Houses: Homes with prayer rooms

            2) Prayer Rooms: rooms set apart all over the community, can be in office buildings, churches, warehouses, homes

            3) Coffee Shops: each has a prayer room connected to it

Facets for Missionaries at the SHOP

Everyone is called to be a full time missionary but this encompasses many fields, including a call to:

            1) full time work in the coffee ministry for the SHOP

            2) full time vocational ministry

            3) living as part of the community and influencing other spheres (business, education, law, government...etc)

Additionally, each individual is encouraged to engage with their interests, whether this be in the arts, sports, food...etc and use these as open doors to connect with others in the community

Strategies for Transformation

Coffee Shops/Coffee Roasting

    ▪       Stems from a devotion to the Lord and a devotion to excellent coffee

            ▪           "Public living room" -the coffee shop is a place where people can talk, connect, read and hangout

            ▪           Has a spirit of ease, friendliness and familiarity

            ▪           Serves as a place of encounter with the Lord

                ▪       cultivate the Lord's presence through burns in the prayer room

Neighborhood/Community Outreach

            -Knowing all of our neighbors names and inviting them to dinner

            -Babysit for neighbors or offer to help with yard work

            -Help college students in the area move into their housing systems (go as teams, wear t-shirts bearing the SHOP name)

Covering the City (in scripture and prayer)

            -Using chalk to write scriptures on university campuses, sidewalks, buildings...etc.

            - Praying and worshipping in strategic locations including: Compline, hospitals, morgues,  (aka "Releasing the Sound")

Small Scale Outreach (weekly)

            -Treasure Hunts: asking the Lord to reveal to the team an individual to be prayed for and then finding and praying/talking with them

            -Life Sieges: team positioning themselves outside abortion clinics and courthouses; covering mouths with red tape labeled "life," and praying for an end to abortion (this includes the Band Prayer*)

                        -partner with Bound for Life

            -Purity Sieges: targeting areas of impurity (sex shops, strip joints, Center for Sex positive Culture), dressed in white, with white blindfold with "purity" written across it in covenant that your eyes see no impure thing

Large Scale Outreach

            -evangelistic push

            -arena size events to bring churches together

Unification of the Body of Christ

            -Seeking reconciliation among denominations (Catholics, Protestants, and Orthodox believers) and enacting the John 17:21 cry*

            -Praying for the church to come back in the fullness of Truth

                -Keeping reconciliation talks between various pastors and denominational leaders open to the public

            -In regards to apostasy: take a strong stance against it- calling heresy for what it is (willingness to engage these churches but not sanction)

                -Recognizing that some areas we must all agree (who Jesus is and what He stands for...etc) and the rest we put aside (opinion does not matter)

Para-Church Unity

     -Partnering with the following para-churches to work alongside on another and complete short-term missions together

            -Young Life

            -YWAM

            -Salvation Army

            -Burn 24/7

            -IHOP

                       

Church Planting/College Ministry

            -Planting small, multipliable churches for college students

            -Using prophetic evangelism and healing ministries for impact

            -Targeting Seattle University, Seattle Pacific University, and University of Washington

Global Outreach

            -Send teams out world-wide for short term missions

Discipleship

            -Members of SHOP spending time with those growing in the Lord: encouraging, praying for, and training them up in the Word

Mapping

            -Mapping areas SHOP has impacted and areas still needing impact, including: churches, ministries, and places of darkness

Shabbot/Community Dinner

            -Weekly dinner for members of household and outsiders designed to encourage rest and fellowship

Key Terms

Authentic Community: A community operating under the principal of the second commandment; putting the needs and dreams of others first. Also a willingness to confront and work through issues that arise in a healthy way...and with ice

Revival: multitudes saved and coming back to the knowledge of God cream.  

Reformation: changing  society to operate under a biblical understanding

Band Prayer: Jesus I plead your blood over my sins and the sins of my nation, God end abortion and send revival to america

John 17:21: That all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me.

Much more to come. May God be pouring into your life and that you will encounter him in a way that drives you to deeper commitment and intimacy with him!

Mud on my Face!!!

Do you ever have those days... where you just feel DIRTY??!!? UGH and you just want to get home so you can take a shower! Especially after a day where you worked in the garden and your COVERED in MUD! It  might feel kinda fun at first... the mud is all wet and then slowly dries and begins to crack... a few more hours go by and that fun feeling is long gone! You think to yourself... "I am just so ready to get this junk off of me!!" You wipe off as much as you can but it just doesn't do the job. You are desperate for that SHOWER!

Well, this is how I have felt for a while now. My failures and my faults in my face seem to be mud stuck on my face. I am so imperfect! There is no good in me. And mind you I am not just saying that because I am supposed to say it. Its the Christian thing to say. NO, I really mean it!! I have been overwhelmed with how I fall daily...multiple times a DAY! God has been revealing so much to me, not to torture me but so that I might grow. I think for a while I have been ignorant of some of my flaws...so therefore they just remain. Its humbling. I don't even have a chance to boast at how "AMAZING" I am because I see how I fall. I am coming to the end of myself all over again. I am in desperate need of change... I am in desperate need of JESUS. You know... I have known this....its not like this light bulb went on and I suddenly realized. No, I ve known that basic, but the reality always stays the same no matter how much time passes. I will ALWAYS still NEED Jesus. My thinking might get turned a bit...where I think hmm... He said hes making me into the likeness of him and maybe I wont need him as much as I did before... Hah EEEEHH wrong answer. For that  very reason I will need Jesus all the MORE! I am desperate for that SHOWER. I want to be clean... I want him to change me from the inside out!! JESUS COME!!! Ive finally come to that realization.. that no one... NOT ONE person can change me. NOT one HUMAN can save me. ONLY JESUS. I can cry on someones shoulder time after time... I can wipe off the mud as much as I can, but nothing.... no... NOTHING but the Blood OF JESUS can wash away my filth. That one shower will not last me a life time. I have to take showers everyday... I need to stay in the river.

Hes changing my character with each passing day and I am grateful. The only good in me is because of Jesus. He is the only reason why I do what I do. I would not be where I am today if it wasn't for him I am so beyond grateful. 

You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self; created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-23

Heaven Pespective.... wheres your focus?

I have been home a little over a month now. Although I haven't had a whole lot to do, God has been teaching me quite a bit. This is a time of resting and a refocusing. Its easy to seek the Lord when there is excitement in the air and busy bees all around. Motivating I would say ,but when times just aren't as crazy, it seems harder to just sit with Jesus. He is teaching me that its even more important to seek Him in the midst of what seems to be mundane. The only reason why the mundane can become glorious is because of HIM.

Foucus and Strength are a few words that my next season can be defined by. I am staying home until early to mid February for my brothers wedding and then returning back to YWAM Kona. There I will be serving on campus. Being involved with the prayer room in some shape or form and possibly in student services, where I will help incoming students with visas and things of the sort. I am looking forward to be growing within community and preparing for our upcoming DTS in July!

The Lord has been speaking to me a lot about focus. Where ever your eyes are set, your heart tends to follow. My focus isn't always where it should be. I want heavens perspective. I want to be looking into His eyes of fire. It requires of me to settle all of my thoughts, calming of my soul, and to just rest in who He is. To be fully satisfied in God, where there is no other activity that is more fulfilling than walking and abiding in God. He promised it and I desire to take a hold of that promise.

What if we all started believing that we were seated in heavenly places? What were our lives look like? Our thought life... where would they go? Our hearts would always know whats true and  would believe it because we are surrounded by his TRUE glory! Hmm... Our struggles would seem so small...that is where most of our struggles start... our mind...our thoughts...those lies Satan feeds us we choose to so easily believe... they become strongholds and now guess what? Darn we're bound! AH I dont want to be there... HELL in my mind! I want HIS eternal Glory to fill my mind...His peace... His love...His joy... What do you think he really thinks about...? REALLY? His thoughts about you? His thoughts about me? His thoughts about that flower that he made? He said we could have the mind of Christ. We aren't fully there yet, Hes renewing it, conforming it to be in His likeness. Jesus take me there. Everyday.

                                                  
Well I feel stirred and alive after getting all that out. Hope you do to! God fill our minds with your glory. Burn away everything that is not of you. May every who reads this be filled with your presence!

Prayer-

• I may walk in the fullness of Jesus, his life and joy in abunance
• I would be intentional with everyday, always knowing what is on Gods heart and walking in obiedience
• Breakthrough in prayer and intimacy with Jesus
• Breakthrough for deeper lifelong friendships
• Provision with Finances- praying for $1000 in monthly support

Jesus is FaithFULL

Well... where do I even start....this blog update is long over due that is for sure...Outreach is now said and done. Christmas has come and gone. And 2011 has now begun... oh boy... and Jesus somehow ALWAYS stays the same in the midst of it ALL! I want to share so many stories but at the same time there's too much to share! Hmm...Our trip to India was nothing short of Gods favor being poured over us and those along side of us as well. We were able to see over one hundred villagers accept Jesus into their lives and as well shared testimonies and the gospel with over  a thousand. I honestly feel so privileged... we are called to share HIS message with others but we can never force anyone. I have never seen, first handed, so many people so hungry to receive Jesus before in MY entire LIFE! Through this all I must say I have learned A LOT! This trip was amazing but certainly NOT a bed of roses. It had its thorns too. God is using it to shape and mold me. I am thankful. I don't like  it  being in the midst of it; I actually hate being in the furnace but who doesn't? But I will never run away from my King. He is worthy of it. All of it.

As of right now I am home with family. Celebrated Christmas, New Years, and my birthday with them. It is nice to rest and just be at times.. although I find it hard to just sit... I get real antsy. I had initially thought I would be home for about 2 weeks but now will be staying for my brothers wedding in early February. I have time to support and lift up my family. Connecting with those whom I haven't seen in a very long time. In the mean time I miss my Awaken Family dearly... And whats next for you, you might be asking...? Well the plan as of right now is to head back to Kona and continue staffing on campus until April, which I will then will be heading to Los Angeles for a ministry and impartation time there The month of May is still uncertain for me but come June we will be getting ready for round 2 of the AWAKEN DTS! As I have committed being a part of this ministry for at least 2 years. I feel so honored and blessed to be able to be doing what I am doing. I wouldn't change it for anything! My vision is to see believers radically fall in love with Jesus and run in whole hearted surrender as they go out  and share about who Jesus is and what he has done. As I desire to do the same.
If you would like to support me and the vision he has given me, you can go to the paypal button and easily donate there. Please keep me in your prayers as well. For the righteous mans prayers are powerful and effective. I am poor and needy without my King.

If you have any questions at all please email me or give me a ring. I will gladly share with you. Thanks again for all that have kept me in your prayers and supported me financially.

As I sit...

First off I want to thank you so much for your prayers. They really are moving things and I am so grateful that your praying. THANK YOU! Most of my blogs or updates or emails are being written through my iPod and sometimes it has a mind of its own in correcting my wording and I don't catch it until its too late... so thanks for hainging in there when the wording gets a little confusing.

In the past week or so I have had an infection on my leg from a boil, at least that is what the doctor said. It has been a very humbling experience. For the first week I discovered my infection, I could not stand because the pain was so unbearable and my hearing would start to fade... I was often asked the question by doctors "Do you have diabetes?" Every time this made me worry... actually more than worry...more like freak out because diabetes runs in my family and I pray that I will never get it.  I had gone to 4 doctors and 2 hospitals and had my antibiotics changed on me more that I can remember.  My leg after 4 or 5 days finally started to drain with puss... too graphic for you??? Well it was nasty and very very painful. One doctor had stuck something in my leg to help it drain... and no numbing agent there... what an experience... I could not really get dressed without help... I realized how hard it is for me to need help from others. Humbling... definitely! I am learning a lot. I have been so grateful for this family we are staying with. They have taken such great care of me. They have changed my bandage for me, served in every way possible, and kept me in prayer! I am finally getting better but the last hospital visit I was commanded strict bed rest, no walking! So yesterday, my team left back for Mumbai while I stay here in  Wardha with one of my teammates until Friday so I can rest and heal.

We have been so blessed to stay here and be a part of this ministry DinBandhu (friend of the poor).  This past week we were able to be a part of a pastors conference where we got to worship and pray with them. Honestly I just feel humbled to be doing all that we are doing.  Our team really desires the fullness of what God has...but as I meditate on this... I am faced with the reality that the fullness comes with a cost. I want to be willing. I want us to be willing. This is a lifestyle not just a season. We have about a month left here in India and I want to finish strong. We then will be headed back to the states.

Please continue to pray for health and protection over us. Pray that we will grab a hold of all that God has for us. Pray for provision as well... I still need monthly supporters and I am continuing with this non profit ministry for the next 2 years.Thank again for all your prayers and support. I honestly cannot do this with out you. I have more and more of a deeper revelation of what the body of Christ looks like with each passing day. We need each other. So Thanks Family!